Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through…
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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams Many women are under the impression that if they are attractive, conscientious and treat a guy really well, they have a chance of winning their guy. But let’s be honest: has this ever really worked for you? Probably not. There’s a much more effective method. It may seem insane, but it works! To capture the man of your dreams, this is what you must do: 1) Act like you really, really…
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A pilot was forced to make a crash landing in a farmer’s field. The farmer took the pilot back to the farmhouse, where the pilot noticed the farmer had a golden fiddle hanging above the fireplace. The two men were standing there talking when the farmers wife came down the steps. The pilot couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. He asked the farmer, “How can you trust her to be here by herself all day, while you go out and…
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Memo To: All Employees Subject: New Policies Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Surgery: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse…
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One morning, a gentleman boarded a plane headed for Rome. Within several minutes of finding his seat, a rumor began to circulate about the plane that the Pope would be on this very flight. Being Catholic, and therefore a rather large fan of the Holy Father, he of course hoped that the Pope’s seat would be in close proximity to his so that they might be able to converse on their way to the Holy City of Rome. No sooner…
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Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. It was the stupidest thing that I have ever done in my life. I didn’t realize how much I loved you until we were apart! Won’t you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you with all my heart! All my love, Sally xxxxoooxxxx P.S. Congratulations on winning this week’s lottery.
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Subject: 40 Actual Newspaper Headlines (collected by actual journalists) 1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted 4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case 5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents 6. Farmer Bill Dies in House 7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? 9. Stud Tires Out 10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope…
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…
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An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says… And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far, from town to…
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