Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, “What kinds of ice cream do you have?” “Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry,” the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. “You got laryngitis?” the young man asked, sympathetically. “Nope.” she whispered, “Just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.”
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There’s this guy who forgets his coat somewhere and forgot where. He goes to the store and finds out a replacement coat cost $250 bucks. Astonished he goes to a church to sit and think what to do. He enters the church and hears the sermon going on. As he passes the coat rack he sees a coat identical to his own. He plots to wait for the end of the sermon then to make off with the coat. He…
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A young man died somewhat before his time in a motor accident, and found himself in Hell. He sat in a hot ante-room surrounded by swirling sulphurous gases as he gloomily awaited his fate. He’d heard all the jokes. “OK lads, tea break’s over, back on your heads.” Being forced to listen to a continuous Barry Manilow tape. The electrodes on the goolies. It made him shiver. Finally Satan arrived, detected the young chap’s demeanour and said, “Hey, why so…
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President Bush is representing the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England. Air Force One stops at a bright red carpet along which the President strides to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeds through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, the Queen and the President waving to the cheering throngs. Then suddenly the right rear horse produces…
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A young reporter for a small-town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor: “Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her breasts.” The editor scolded the new reporter, saying, “This is a family paper. We don’t use words like ‘breasts’ around here. Now go back and write something more appropriate.” The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally,…
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Q: What is Bill Clinton’s worst nightmare? A: An intern with braces! (ewww!)
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One day God, Jesus and Moses are playing a round of golf. Jesus and Moses have both hit respectable 250+ yard drives on a par 4 with abundant water hazards. God takes his hit; lots of power in the stroke but he hooks badly, and the ball soars toward a deep pond. As it hits the surface, a trout rises beneath it to take a fly; the ball bounces off its head and deflects into the rough. A rabbit which…
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A proposed revision to the rules of golf is being sought in South Florida, which will replace the traditional call of “FORE.” Once a player has hit an errant shot, he will be allowed to call “GORE,” while the ball is still in flight. He can then replace the ball in the same spot and hit it again. The player can do this until he is satisfied the ball is going where he intended to hit it in the first…
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arachnoleptic fit, n: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web. Beelzebug, n: Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out. bozone, n: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down at any time in the future. cashtration, n: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject…
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One day a farmer caught a traveling salesman making love to his youngest daughter. Yelling “You son of a bitch!” he shot the amorous salesman in the groin with a .12-gauge shotgun. The screaming salesman quickly took off for town to find a doctor. He found one, but the physician took one look at the man’s dick and told him that nothing could be done for him. “Oh, please do something,” begged the salesman. “I’m a rich man and can…
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