Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Tips on becoming a serious Computer Gamer. -Written by residents of the Arizona mental health facility. 1. Ignore all family and friends: They will only get in the way. The computer is your friend, your mentor, and your leader. Try giving it a name, and draw a face on it for personality. 2. Become totally immersed in the world of games: When you can’t remember if your algebra homework was to finish page 30 in the book, or rescue the…
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1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…
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COMPUTER VIRUSES Woody Allen Virus Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card. Tonya Harding Virus Turns your BAT files into lethal weapons. Paul Revere Virus Warns of an impending virus infection: 1 if by LAN, 2 if by C:\. Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus Instantly turns 1 K of disk space into 1 Meg. Ollie North Virus Plays a patriotic WAV while it shreds your files. Joey Buttafuoco Virus Only attacks minor files. Lorena Bobbit Virus Your hard disc…
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1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…
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Fred knocks on his friends door. The wife answers and he asks, “Is John home?” She says, “No, but come on in and wait, he should be home anytime.” She offers him a beer and after about 3 beers, John still hasn’t shown up yet. Fred says, “Hey I’ll give ya a $100 if I can see one of your tits.” Well, she thinks, “Boy that would help with the rent. So she pulls up her shirt and flashes him…
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A man and his wife were driving through Arkansas on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decides to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Shell station and pulls over to the high octane pump. “What can I do fer ya’ll?” asks the attendant. “Fill her up with high test,” replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he’s looking the…
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True Facts About Americans Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear. 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs). The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago…
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102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…
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This actually IS true. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it! Only in South Carolina!! Bitter sweet revenge. It’s about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them…
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HE: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Insert card 3. Enter PIN and account 4. Take cash, card and receipt 5. Drive off SHE: 1. Pull up to ATM 2. Check makeup in rearview mirror 3. Shut off engine 4. Put keys in purse 5. Get out of car because you’re too far from machine 6. Hunt for card in purse 7. Insert card 8. Search purse for gum wrapper with PIN written on it 9. Enter PIN 10.Study instruction…
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