Yesterday morning Jokes - page 2

Order Ahead

A sad-faced man came into the flower shop early one morning. I was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, but this time I guessed wrong. He wanted a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. “And what day will that be?” I asked. Glumly, he replied, “Yesterday.”

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Easy Way Of Writing Home

Dear Parent(s), I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ I am in love! __ I am engaged __ I got married last weekend My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on __ Gave me a black eye __ Committed suicide…

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Nine o’ five

I was playing golf one morning and a friend asked if he could play a round against me. I told him, “Sure. What time do you want me to meet you here?” He said, “Nine o’ clock … Maybe nine o’ five.” Sure enough, the next day he is there to tee off at nine o’ clock sharp. He tees off right-handed and I tee off right-handed. We played eighteen holes and he beat me by two strokes. I congratulated…

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Wishing Snake

A cowboy was riding the range and as he rounded a bend in the road, his horse balked at a huge rattlesnake in the road. As he drew his colt and was ready to shoot, the snake yelled, “Stop..I am a charmed snake and if you don’t shoot me I’ll grant you three wishes.” Somewhat shaken, he holstered his revolver and said, “OK, let’s see what you can do”. The cowboy said, “I’ve been working really hard all my life,…

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cold blooded Sergeant

The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the…

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Read Jokecold blooded Sergeant