Ya Jokes

Prince William’s Royal ‘Change for Good’ Agenda: Top Priority? Making His Son Proud (and Maybe Less Press Intrusion, Eventually)

Prince William’s Royal ‘Change for Good’ Agenda: Top Priority? Making His Son Proud (and Maybe Less Press Intrusion, Eventually) ? In what can only be described as a masterclass in royal PR, William sat down with none other than ‘Schitt’s Creek’ legend and ‘Reluctant Traveler’ Eugene Levy. The future king shared his grand vision for an ‘agenda of change for the good’ when he ascends the throne. ? Among these lofty goals, it seems a significant one is doing work…

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Read JokePrince William’s Royal ‘Change for Good’ Agenda: Top Priority? Making His Son Proud (and Maybe Less Press Intrusion, Eventually)

Tony Harrison’s ‘Once Controversial’ Poem Gets Ultimate Graveyard Gig, Author Attends (Spiritually, Anyway)

Tony Harrison’s ‘Once Controversial’ Poem Gets Ultimate Graveyard Gig, Author Attends (Spiritually, Anyway). What better way to honor a poet than to perform his most famous (and famously scandalous) work right where it all began? ? This performance of the ‘once controversial’ poem V, originally planned for its 40th anniversary in the very Leeds cemetery that inspired it, has now taken on a whole new layer of dramatic irony. The timing couldn’t be more… poetic, as it will now also…

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Read JokeTony Harrison’s ‘Once Controversial’ Poem Gets Ultimate Graveyard Gig, Author Attends (Spiritually, Anyway)

Damn Yankees

During the American Civil War, a particular captured Confederate soldier was a hard man to handle. Constantly, in his soft drawl, he would say, “Anyway, we beat the hell out of you sniveling Yankee dogs at Fredericksburg.” The Northern sergeant in charge could not punish the impertinent prisoner as he would have liked because there was a drive on at the time to make sure that prisoners were treated humanely. Finally, however, he could stand it no more. He marched…

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Read JokeDamn Yankees

You MIGHT be a Yankee if….

…You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY! …The sound of Fran Drescher’s voice doesn’t bother you. …For breakfast, you’d rather have potatoes than grits. …You can name at least 4 hockey teams. …You don’t know what a moon pie is. …You’ve never eaten Okra. …You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show. …You don’t have any problems pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce” correctly. …You’ve never had grain alcohol. …You are familiar with all the rules to Lacrosse. …You have no…

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Read JokeYou MIGHT be a Yankee if….

ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Read Jokeya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Millennium Software (MYASS)

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as “Millennium Year Application Software System” (MYASS). Next Monday there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS to everyone. We will hold demonstrations throughout the month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good look at MYASS. We have not addressed networking aspects yet, so currently only one person at a…

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Read JokeMillennium Software (MYASS)

Layaway Plan

Customer: I won’t be able to pay for this suit for six months. Tailor: Oh, that’s all right, Sir. Customer: Thank you. When will the suit be ready? Tailor: In six months, Sir.

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Read JokeLayaway Plan

Advice to Northerners..ya’ll

“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…

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Read JokeAdvice to Northerners..ya’ll