Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Four men were enlisted into the military in World War 2. Three were very religious men, and the other was a lawyer who didn’t want to die. On the night before a large battle, the lawyer went to the others and said,”When the first shot flies, get down on your knees in prayer, and the lord will protect thee throughout the day.” The others thought it was a good idea, and would be an excellent test of their faith. The…
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Dear Lord: So far today, I am doing alright. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self indulgent. I have not whined, bitched, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged on my credit card. However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help after that.
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A little boy wanted $100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to “GOD USA,” they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused, he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.…
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I went to the psychiatrist the other day. He handed me a piece of paper and a pencil and said, “Draw me something.” I said, “Like what?” “Something you can’t verbalize.” So after about ten minutes I handed him the paper and pencil back. “There’s nothing on this paper,” he said. “Yeah, I know,” I said. “I drew a blank.”
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God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I’m older….here’s what I’ve discovered: 1. I started out with nothing .. I still have most of it. 2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran? 3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don’t remember…
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Three nuns passed every day through a street that led them from Church to a Reformatory. They noticed a parrot that stood at the entrance of a big residential house. Every time they passed in front of that house, the bird would pronounced three sequential colors. One day, they heard, “yellow, blue, black.” One of the nuns noticed that those colors perfectly matched the colors of their underwear. She mentioned her discovery to the other two nuns, but both were…
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Grayce Her name was “Grayce”, she was one of the best_ That night I put her up to the test_. I looked at her with gay delight_ God, I knew she was mine for tonight_. The night was dark, the lights were dim_ I was excited, my heart missed a beat_ For I knew I was in for a damn good treat_. I’d see her stripped, I’d see her bare_ I felt her over everywhere I got inside her, she…
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As I boot up my PC, my modem dailing next to me, I ask the Lord, give me a sign…. Will I ever get on-line????? If you’d kindly let me through, I’ll byte no more than I can chew. I’ll surf the waves amid the Net, with my mouse, my loyal pet. And through each window I will see the websites that are offered me. Resisting any chat room’s lure, I’ll download only what is pure. If system errors don’t…
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One day, a lonely woman bought a parrot to keep her company. The pet shop owner told her how to teach it to talk. The old woman thought it would be nice to have someone to pray with every night, so she taught it to pray. A few weeks later the woman’s priest came over and she was anxious to show off her parrot’s skills. She said to the priest, “Pull his right leg,” so the priest did. The parrot…
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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whispered, “Hello?” Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, “Is your Daddy home?” “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk with him?” the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice…
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