Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.” The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say the word ‘pee’ in church. From now on when you have to ‘pee,’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper’.” The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his Father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have to whisper.” The Father…
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It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, “Give me Liberty, or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up, “Patrick Henry, 1775,” said the boy. “Now,” said the teacher, “Who said ‘Government of the people, by the…
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A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a make-shift campfire, and, to the ranger’s astonishment, eating a fish and a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. He was soon brought to trial for his crime. The Judge asked the man, “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?” “Yes, I do, Judge,” replied the…
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A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier. “Show the lady your finest languginous chinchilla coat!” the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, “Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000.” “No problem! I’ll write you a check!” “Very good, sir.” says the shop owner.…
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I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing until our busboy came with water & tableware; he, too, sported a spoon in his breast-pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses, busboys, etc., had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our…
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A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through the barn, during the forced…
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Due to increasing products liability, beer manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all alcoholic drink containers: Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in.…
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It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetheart, how’d you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?” Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn’t help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to…
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There’s a blonde sitting on an airplane when a gentleman walks up and says “Excuse me, miss, but you are sitting in my seat.” The blonde responds, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and remains seated. The guy says, “But you are sitting in MY seat. You need to find your seat.” She once again says, “I’m blond, I’m beautiful and I’m going to Dallas!” and doesn’t budge. The man is perturbed and calls the flight attendant…
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Little Jimmy was struggling with a homework assignment his 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Adams, had given her English class. Jimmy’s grandmother realized that the boy was having difficulty when she saw all the scrunched up papers around the kitchen table where he was working. “Having a problem with your homework, dear?” asked the sweet old lady. “I am, Grandma”, said Jimmy, dropping his pencil dejectedly on the table. “We’re supposed to make up a limerick and read it to the…
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