Wheel chair Jokes

blond inventions

Inventions by Blondes ? The water-proof towel ? Glow in the dark sunglasses ? Solar powered flashlights ? Submarine screen doors ? A book on how to read ? Inflatable dart boards ? A dictionary index ? Mechanical Pencil sharpeners ? Powdered water ? Pedal-powered wheel chairs ? Waterproof tea bags ? Watermelon seed sorter ? Zero proof alcohol ? Reuseable ice cubes ? See-through toilet tissue ? Skinless bananas ? Do-it-yourself road map ? Turnip ice cream ? Toe…

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Blonde Inventions

Inventions by Blondes =–= — The water-proof towel — Glow in the dark sunglasses — Solar powered flashlights — Submarine screen doors — A book on how to read — Inflatable dart boards — A dictionary index — Mechanical Pencil sharpeners — Powdered water — Pedal-powered wheel chairs — Waterproof tea bags — Watermelon seed sorter — Zero proof alcohol — Reuseable ice cubes — See-through toilet tissue — Skinless bananas — Do-it-yourself road map — Turnip ice cream —…

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Encountering the Lift

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silverwalls which could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, “What is this, Father?” The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life; I don’t know what it is.” While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady…

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List O’ Sick Jokes

Q. Whats the definition of disgusting? A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny’s pussy and sucking out thirteen. Q. What’s the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? A. Getting her out of the wheelchair! Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again! Q. Why do men pay…

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THE DRUNK.

AFTER TEN BEERS AND 12 BRANDYS VAN DECIDES TO CHECK WHETHER HE CAN STILL WALK HOME. PUSHING HIMSELF AWAY FROM THE BAR COUNTER HE TESTS HIS LEGS , BANG, HE FALLS DOWN. VAN THEN TRY’S AGAIN, BANG HE FALLS DOWN.HE THEN DECIDES TO CRAWL OUT TO THE LAMPPOST IN FRONT OF THE BAR,PULLING HIMSELF UP TO TRY ONE MORE TIME. BANG FLAT ON HIS BUTT. REALISING HE ONLY LIVES AROUND THE CORNER HE DECIDES TO CRAWL HOME. THE NEXT MORNING…

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The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight

A True Remarkable Occurrence: Two gangsters, James Gallo and Joe Conigliaro, set about to murder a stool pigeon, Vinny Ensulo, alias Vinnie Ba Ba, alias Vincent Ennsie. On November 1, 1973 they jumped him on Columbia Street, Brooklyn, and took him for a ride. Gallo pointed a gun at his head from the right, and Conigliaro covered him from the left. The car swerved violently. The two gangsters shot each other. The New York Daily News described the sequel: “Concigliaro,…

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Clinton Joke No. 15646

President Clinton was at the beach and got into trouble while swimming. He called for help, and three young men went to his rescue and pulled him ashore. Clinton wanted to show his gratitude, so he offered to give each of the young men what they would like, within reason. The first young man said that he would like to have a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Clinton told him he could select it and to just send him the bill. The…

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What happens when you save Bush?

Three boys save President Bush’s life. President Bush says to them, “Boys, you can have anything your little hearts desire.” The first boy asks for a Game Boy and every game ever made for it. President Bush says, “You got, little man.” The second boy asks for a Playstation 2 and a pony. President Bush says, “You’ll have ’em by tommorow.” The third boy asks for a wheelchair with a built-in Playstation and freezer. President Bush asks the boy, “Why…

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Lawyer’s donation

The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute and said, “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?” The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First,…

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