Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Bill buys a parrot for his family in the White House one day. So they go on a vacation and Bill tells the secret service to keep good care of it. While away the bird dies, so the secret service go in and out of every pet shop looking for a new parrot. One agent goes into a pet shop and sees the same exact bird. Markings and everything. So he goes to the owner and says, “Sir, I need…
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Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…
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A woman went to the same pet store weekly to buy cat food. Each time she walked in, the parrot on his perch at the door would whistle, and say, “You are sooo fat and, MAN, are you ugly!” This went on for sometime and eventually, in tears, the sensitive woman approached the manager and asked him to do something about the rude parrot. The manager apologized to the woman, telling her that was the only phrase the parrot knew,…
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One day, Jim’s mom comes over to dinner, and was very curious about his roomate, Juli. Juli was blonde, thin, and very pretty. Then Jim said, ” Mothe, I know what you are thinking about things goin’ on between me and Juli, but there is nothing, we are just roomates.” Well his mother understood but was still curious. About two weeks lator, Juli came up to Jim and said, “Jim, ever since your mom came here, I’ve been missing my…
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George was sitting at his desk and stressing over the upcoming deadlines when his boss came up to him. Their conversation went as follows: Boss: “George, when is the last time you took a vacation?” George: “Sir, I don’t have time for a vacation. There is way too much work to be done.” Boss: “George, I believe you would be more productive if you took some time to get away from your work and relax for a little bit.” George:…
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1. The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust!” 2. In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested. 3. My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog. 4. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mother-in-laws. 5. Young son: Is it…
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The young bride’s mother had some old-fashioned ideas of marriage, and passed them on to her daughter. “Never let your husband see you in the nude,” she advised. “You should always wear something.” “Yes, mother,” replied the obedient girl. Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband were preparing to retire when the guy asked, “Dear, has there ever been any insanity in your family?” “Not that I know of,” she answered. “Why?” “Well, we’ve been married…
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10..You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in a razor-sharp rows. 9..That telltale lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl. 8..On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen-over licorice downspout and the stuck half-open graham cracker garage door. 7..You find your pet bunny on the…
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Ever look at the Help Wanted ads and wonder what they REALLY mean? Here is our guide to Job Search Lingo: “Competitive Salary” We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition. “Join our fast-paced company” We have no time to train you. “Casual work atmosphere” We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. “Some overtime required” Some every night and some every weekend. “Duties will vary”…
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There was a boy and his Dad were working in his dad’s garden. His son spotted a butterfly; he then very quickly without warning smashed the butterfly. His dad saw this and was very angry. So he told his son that since he didn’t respect the laws of nature he will have to eat butter for a week. A few min. later his son spotted a fruitfly. He then, with out thinking, crushed the fruitfly. His Dad told him he…
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