Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Leaving a plush night club one evening, a miserly gentleman walked past the doorman without tipping him. Nevertheless, the doorman graciously helped the man into a taxi with a flourish and said, pleasantly, “By the way, Sir, in case you happen to lose your wallet on the way home, just remember that you didn’t pull it out here.”
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One day a rabbit hops into a bar and says, “Hey bartender, Got any…carrots?” So in response to the rabbit, the bartender says, “No!” and then rabbit leaves. The next day the same rabbit comes in and says, “Hey bartender, got any… carrots?” and then the bartender says, “Listen, rabbit, if you come in here and ask for carrots again, I’m going to nail your ears to the wall!!!” So after that the rabbit leaves the bar. The very next…
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Cartoon Law I. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second^2 takes over. Cartoon Law II. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on…
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Friends lunching at the home of Pablo Picasso in the south of France commented on the fact that their host had none of his own paintings on the walls. “Why is that, Pablo?” one of them asked. “Don’t you like them?” “On the contrary,” replied the painter, “I like them very much. It’s just that I can’t afford them.”
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A Woman is walking trough the train searching for a seat, finally she finds one and sits down. Across the woman is a man with a bag of seeds… and the man is eating the seeds one by one. Curious the woman asks: “Why are you eating seeds?” “These aren’t just seeds,” explains the man, this are seeds of the smart apple tree.. when you eat these seeds you instantly become smarter.” “WOW!” answers the woman. “Will you give me…
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There’s a bar in New York that has a truth mirror.If you say a lie it sucks you in.A red head walked in the bar and said,”I’m the cutest girl in New York”,so the mirror sucked her in.Then a brunet walked in and said,”I’m the smartest girl in New York”,so the mirror sucked her in. Then a blond waled in and said, “I’m….” and the mirror sucked her in.
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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance: 1. a woman 2. a donkey 3. a shovel 4. a fish 5. a Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum…
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A butcher in his shop, and he’s real busy, and he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away. But later, he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices he has a note in his mouth. He takes the note and it reads, “I need 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. The dog has money in his mouth, as well.” The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold,…
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A high level executive sits at a local bar one night and orders a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, the bartender notices the man speaking in to the palm of his hand, as if he were giving orders to a secretary. “Who were you talking to?” the bartender asks the executive, thinking the man was having a breakdown. The executive stretches out his left hand and shows the bartender a cellphone keyboard encrusted into his left hand.…
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A Scottish atheist was spending a quiet day fishing in the lake when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting below to swallow them both. As the Scotsman sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”…
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