Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A few days before his proctologic exam, a one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for awhile, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor’s office, the man followed the doctor’s instructions, undressed and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man’s rear was that glass eye staring right back at him! Taken aback, the doctor said, “You know, you really must…
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A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule at 2 a.m. Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, “Mike, Dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I’ve got a splitting headache.” “Certainly,…
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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies. While walking around the course, the English man’s wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground. Her skirt was over her head revealing that she wasn’t wearing any knickers! The Englishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her state of undress. “Well darling,” she explained, “you give me so…
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Stage 1: Kissing/Light Petting What he hopes you’re thinking: “Oh, I can’t resist: I’m powerless before your seductive ways!” What he’s afraid you’re thinking: “Garlic breath–ewwww!” Stage 2: Undressing What he hopes you’re thinking: “My God, look at the size of that!” What he’s afraid you’re thinking: “My God, look at the size of that!” Stage 3: Foreplay/Oral Sex What he hopes you’re thinking: “I could worship at the altar of your impressive manhood for hours.” What he’s afraid you’re…
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER – She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. (yep!) She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY…
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A young couple were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, who was a big, burly guy, tossed his pants to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your pants,” she said. “That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!”…
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A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick so she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to love him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. The first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a…
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Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly calls her and urges her to go get back into the world. Finally, Sadie agrees to go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I have someone for you to meet.” Well, it was an immediate hit! They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asks…
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1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…
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Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs were roaming in the forest when they came across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decided to take a bath, so she told the Dwarfs to turn around while she was undressing to take the bath. The dwarfs protested vehemently, so she relented and said that when they heard the splash, they could turn around. Snow White undressed and as she was about to jump into water, she was startled by…
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