Two fat ladies
These two fat old ladies were sitting in the back of the bus. One lady said, “Man my butt is asleep!” The other lady said ” yeah I heard it snoring!!”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two ladies Jokes
2 Catty Old Ladies
Two elderly women who were rivals in a social circle met at a party. “My dear,” said the first woman “Are those real pearls?” “They are,” replied the second woman. “Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them,” smiled the first. The second responded with an even bigger smile, “Yes, but for that, you would need real teeth.”
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Horny Old Ladies
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, “Do you still get horny?” The other replies, “Oh, sure I do.” The first old lady asks, “What do you do about it?” The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.” After a few moments, the first old lady asks……”Who drives you to the beach?”
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Little Old Ladies
Once upon a time there was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body (it’s a man thing), when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. He promptly went to the beach, completely undressed, and buried himself in the sand,…
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Active Supporters
Two elderly, excited women were sitting together in the front pew of church listening to a fiery preacher. When this preacher condemned the sin of lust, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs…”AMEN, BROTHER!” When the preacher condemned the sin of stealing, they yelled again…”PREACH IT, REVEREND!” And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying…they jumped to their feet and screamed, “RIGHT ON, BROTHER…TELL IT LIKE IT IS…AMEN!” But when the preacher condemned the sin…
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Senior Moment
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting at that park for every sunny day for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each other’s friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies turns to the other and says, “Please don’t be angry with me, Dear, but I am so embarrassed. After all these years, what is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can’t.” The older…
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Grammar
Two ladies are sitting next to each other on a plane. One is a Yankee and the other, a Southern Belle. The Southern Belle turns to the Yankee and asks, “So, where y’all from?” The Yankee turned her steely gaze to the Southern Belle and replied, “I am from a place where we do NOT end our sentences with a preposition.” Silence ensues and the flight continues until a few minutes later when the Southern Belle again turns to the…
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Slipping memories
Two ladies have played bridge together for years, nay decades. Naturally they have gotten to know each other pretty well. One day, during a game, one lady suddenly looks up at the other and says, “Now, dear, I know that we’ve known each other for many years, but please don’t be angry or upset by this–could you please tell me your name? I’m trying to remember, but I just can’t bring it to mind.” The other lady glares at her…
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Bridge the Communication Gap
A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why she left her last employment, she replied, “Yessir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked! They played a game called ‘Bridge,’ and last night a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring in refreshments, I heard a man say, ‘Lay down and let’s see what you got.’ Another man said, ‘I got strength and no length.’ And…
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The 12 days of christmas
Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Ave. Beaver Valley, CO Dec. 14, 1986 My Darling, I went to the door today and the postman delivered a “partridge in a pear tree”. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. You’re an angel. With all my love and devotion, Agnes Miss Agnes McHolstein Dec. 15, 1986 Darling, Today, the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine “Two turtle doves”. I’m delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are…
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