Train trip Jokes - page 2

The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas

The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…

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HOW blonde was she?

She was sooooooooooooooo blonde, She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought “Meow Mix” was a CD for cats. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under “education” on her job application,…

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Veteran’s Day

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…

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Glesga Wars

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…

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Chinese Spy

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So he hired a famous Chinese detective, Mr. Sui Tansow Pok, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he.…

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Wrong Bitch

An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…

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The Chinese Detective

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he.…

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Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Indian Mating Ritual

The Indian tour guide is explaining the re-enactment of an ancient Indian courting ritual. As they watch, an Indian brave approaches the mouth of a small cave, cups his hands to his mouth and calls out: “Ha-woo, ha-woo?” From the back of the cave comes a faint answering, feminine “Ha-woo! Ha-woo!” The Indian brave strips off his clothing and runs into the cave. A Pollock in the tour group gets an idea. He sneaks away, finds the biggest cave he…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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