Toothbrush Jokes

Stuttering John was, once again, rathered embarrassed at the toothbrush company’s monthly sales meeting. “How many tooth brushes did you sell this month?” asked his sales manager. “I ssssold fffour tttooothbrushes llast month, bboss,” stammered John. “That doesn’t cut the mustard,” shouted the sales manager, “you need to come up with a gimmick if you want to be a successful salesman!’ “Wwhat’s a gggiimmick?” asked John. “You know,” said the sales manager, “anything that will make the customer buy your…

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Things Dogs Must Try To Remember…. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. I will…

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After I had grown up and become a man, my father and I were seated in front of the TV, during a football game’s halftime exercises. Dad remarked, “Son, every time I gave you a whipping when you were bad, you’d go into the bathroom and spend about 30 minutes, scrubbing the toilet. You got it spotlessly clean, and I could never figure out why you did that.” Without taking my eyes off the TV, I replied, “I was ‘getting…

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A young lady empties her shopping cart on the checkout counter. She has bought: 1 toothbrush 1 lambchop 1 potato 1 carrot 1 pint of milk 1 apple As the checkout guy is scanning her purchases, he glances up at her and says “Single, huh?” “Oh, you’re so fucking clever,” she snaps, “How’d you ever guess?” “Because you’re ugly.”

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“My cat just came in from the garage and I was wondering…. how many calories are in a mouse?” “I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be before I can breed him?” “Does your dog food help with emancipation?” “What should I feed a borderline collie?” “What size litter box do I need to keep my cat comfy?” “Is it normal for a dog to shed?” “How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband’s toothbrush?”…

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