Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
While his wife is away a man decides to take the opportunity to paint the toilet seat. His wife comes home sooner than expected, sits on the toilet seat, and gets it stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to take her to the doctor to get it removed painlessly. She puts on a large overcoat to cover herself and the seat and away they go. When they get to the doctor’s office…
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What do a blonde and a toilet seat have in common? Without the hole, they would be useless!
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How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down? Nobody knows, it’s never been done!
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Ten Things Whipped Guys Do 10. Asks if there is anything more he can do for her (wihout sarcasm). 9. Goes to the store to get stuff for her and likes it. 8. Leaves fresh towels in the bathroom. 7. Actually listens to her problems and will turn off the tv to do so. 6. Gives a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 5. Gives her a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 4.…
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Q. Whats the definition of disgusting? A. Stuffing a dozen oysters into your granny’s pussy and sucking out thirteen. Q. What’s the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? A. Getting her out of the wheelchair! Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A. Slow down and use a lubricant. Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again! Q. Why do men pay…
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Signs That You are Too Drunk You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream. Career won’t progress beyong Senator from Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case- coincidence?…
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Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand? A. She moans with the other one. Q. How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? A. They put the toilet seat on the stove. Q. How did Helen Keller burn her face? A. She answered the iron. —or—- A. Bobbing for french fries. Q. What did Helen Keller name her seeing-eyed dog? A. Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the stairs? A. Screamed her bloody hands…
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I’m glad I’m a woman, yes I am, yes I am. I don’t live off of Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam. I don’t brag to my buddies about my erections. I won’t drive to Hell before I ask for directions. I don’t get wasted at parties, and act like a clown. And I know how to put that damned toilet seat down! I won’t grab your hooters, I won’t pinch your butt. My belt buckle’s not hidden beneath my beer…
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1. Scrub toilet and flush several times.(You may consider this step optional.) 2. Fill toilet with warm water and add a squirt of pet shampoo. 3. Drop cat in toilet and slam lid shut. 4. Sit on lid. Cat’s efforts to free itself will generate a good deal of sudsing and washing motions. 5. Flush toilet a couple of times to rinse the cat. NOTE: Hold securly to leash attached to cat in toilet. 6. Leap off toilet seat, dash…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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