Getting Pregnant…
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. “Doctor,” she asks nervously, “can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?” “Certainly,” replies the doctor. “Where do you think lawyers come from?”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ting Jokes - page 3
Who’s cheating?
“That wife of mine is a liar,” said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. “How do you know?” the friend asked. “She didn’t come home last night and when I asked her where she’d been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley.” “So?” “So she’s a liar. *I* spent the night with her sister, Shirley.”
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Disgusting
Q. What’s the definition of disgusting?? A. Siamese twins, joined by the mouth and one throwing up…
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Call Waiting
A guy asked his mother, “Why don’t you get call-waiting? Your phone’s always busy, and I can’t ever get through.” She replied, “I already HAVE call-waiting. You call; the line’s busy; you WAIT!”
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Exhausting Labor
Oscar Wilde was a poseur and what he said was never necessarily true. However, he was visiting at a friend’s summer house and one morning he did not show up till it was nearly lunchtime. His friend said, “What have you been doing all morning, Oscar?” “Working,” said Wilde. “Accomplish anything?” “Oh, yes, I inserted a comma in a poem I’m writing.” He then disappeared all afternoon. When he showed up for dinner, his friend said, “More work?” “Yes,” said…
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Manipulating the system…
The phone rings at KGB headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this KGB?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds inside his firewood.” “This will be noted,” said the KGB operative. The next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.…
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Getting Lost
So it seems that this reporter goes to Armenia to write articles about the people and their land. He meets an old man in a secluded village, and over a cup of the local brew asks him about the memorable events of his life. After a bit of thought, the old man says, “Well, there was this time my donkey got lost, so me and my neighbors got some vodka and went looking for it. We looked and looked, all…
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Shooting Par
A retired gentleman spent most afternoons at the local golf course. Every day he would spend about three hours out on the course, playing a round by himself. When he would return to the clubhouse, the resident pro would inquire about his score. “Ed, how’d you shoot today?” to which the man would always reply, “Another perfect par.” The golf pro (being of average intelligence) knew that there was no way the old man was shooting straight par every day.…
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Bear Hunting
Three guys,a Russian, a Swede and a Czech, decided that they wanted to go bear hunting. They read all the books, asked the pros for advice, and got all the state of the art equipment. When they got to the reserve they told the guard on duty, “If we don’t come back in three days, come looking for us.” And with that taken care of they drove on into the wilderness. Three days passed and still the guys hadn’t shown…
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Getting More for the Money
A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room, they undress, climb into bed, and go at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences a repeat performance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese…
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