Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The two Uranians landed in the desert, and , leaving their saucer hidden beneath a dune, they go exploring. The first sign of civilization they spot is a service station, and approaching warily, Commander Znugg says to Science Officer Ktoing, “Watch it, this is gonna be rough.” “How do you know? asked Ktoing. “Trust me, Znugg replied as they walked up to the nearest gas pump. Trying to sound as pleasant as possible, Znugg said, “Take me to your leader.”…
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There were several women sitting around talking at their weekly club meeting. The topic of birth control came up and they started comparing methods. The first woman said that she and her husband relied on the pill. It had been effective for them since they had started using it after their 4th child was born. The second woman said that she used the rhythm method. But she hated having to watch the calendar. The third woman said that she used…
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Three cowboys sat around a western campfire, each with that macho bravado we’ve come to expect from the American West and the American Cowboy. The first cowboy pipes up, “You know, a bull got loose in the corral today . . . gored six men to death before I wrestled him to the ground and slit his throat with my fingernail.” The second cowboy, not wanting to be bested, said. “Oh yeah, well just last week a rattler, six feet…
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A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans yelling ?run… run!? The next batter connects heavily with the ball. The Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent, ?R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!? A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams ?R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!? The next batter…
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Mrs. Smith has three daughters who are all getting married within the same month. She tells each one of her daughters to write back about their married life. To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to using newspaper advertisements as a “code” to let the mother know how their love lives are going. The first one gets married and the second day a telegram arrives with a single…
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…
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The young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way. None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut…
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Spanish philosopher and poet George Santayana inherited his simple, unostentatious habits from his father. Once he asked the senior Santayana why he always traveled third class. “Because there’s no fourth class,” replied his father.
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1. You’ve sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company’s welcome sign is attached with Velcro. 3. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket. 4. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes. 5. You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet. 6. Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries’ annual budgets…
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Three hillbillies decided to buy a pig to enter in the county fair. After they had the pig for about a year the thing didn’t gain any weight. So the hillbillies decided to put a cork in the pig’s ass. After about 6 months the pig was ready for the fair, gaining a good 150-200 lbs. They went to the fair and won First Place. The hillbillies went home and one of them said, “We gotta take out the cork…
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