Street traffic Jokes

NY traffic

Traffic was excessively heavy at an intersection in New York City. A very obviously pregnant woman, stepped right out into traffic to cross the street and the screeching of brakes could be heard for blocks. One irate truck driver leaned out his window and yelled: “Hey Lady!! You can get knocked DOWN, too!”

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Read JokeNY traffic

Revenge is SO sweet…..

Years ago, before “Caller ID” was perfected, I telephoned 911 and exclaimed, “Help! There’s a FIRE at 1234 Maple Street! Please hurry!” As I heard the sirens wailing in the distance, I dialed the city accounting office and asked to speak to the Administrator. Once he was on the line, I asked, “How much does it cost the city, for the fire department to respond to false alarm calls?” “Each false alarm costs the taxpayers around $500,” he replied. “Good!”…

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Read JokeRevenge is SO sweet…..

ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Things that make you go hmmm

Stopped at traffic light, the gray beard biker stared wide-eyed at a punk rocker crossing the street in front of him. The kid was a helluva sight. The punker had green, orange, yellow, and blue hair, elaborately waxed up into tall spikes sprouting from the top of his head. Seeing the old biker staring at him, the punk rocker stopped and said, “Hey, whatcha lookin’ at, man? Didn’t you ever do anythin’ excitin’ in your life when you were younger?”…

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Read JokeThings that make you go hmmm

Golf Threesome

Moses and Jesus are part of a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulls up to the tee and drives a long one. The ball lands on the fairway, but rolls directly toward a water trap. Quickly, Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball rolls to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolls up to the tee and hits a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It lands right in the center…

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BLIND MAN’S REVENGE

A blind man was standing on a corner waiting for the traffic signal to change so he could cross the street. A stray dog comes walking up to him, hoisted his leg and urinates on the blind man’s pant leg. The blind man then reaches into a paper sack and brings out a cookie and holds it down to the dog. Another pedestrian who was watching this says to the blind man, “Good lord, you’re not going to reward that…

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Read JokeBLIND MAN’S REVENGE

TONS of Blonde Jokes

1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…

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Read JokeTONS of Blonde Jokes

Driving in China

I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…

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Read JokeDriving in China

Yo mamma — THE LIST

YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off…

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Read JokeYo mamma — THE LIST

The Elevator

Upon graduation from high school in a very rural area, young John was to be escorted to “the big city” by ma and pa to scout out the location of the college he would be attending next year. Ma and Pa had never been to “the big city” either, but they were sure that they would be able to safely excort their precious son and help to answer any questions he might have-since everything in “the big city” would be…

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Read JokeThe Elevator