Street car Jokes

Bad Report Card

Little Johnny comes home from school at the end of a term with his report card. The report card has all D’s and F’s. His parents start lecturing him, and Johnny explains that everyone in his class did poorly, not just him. “But what about David down the street?” they said. “HE brought home all A’s and B’s.” “Well, David is different,” he retorted. “How so?” his father asked. “Cuz his parents are smart!”

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Read JokeBad Report Card

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I’ll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.. PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna…

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Read JokeChristmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

‘Schultz is dead!’

A man was walking through the park when he noticed a woman crying her heart out. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Schultz is dead! Schultz is dead! Boo hoo hoo!” the woman sobbed. Since he did not know who Schultz was, the man moved on. Then he came upon another woman crying. “Schultz is dead!” wailed this woman. The man just went on his way. Along the way, he met another woman crying. Then another. And another. And another. All of…

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Read Joke‘Schultz is dead!’

ya mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo mamma — THE LIST YO MAMMA IS SO FAT ?Yo momma so fat her nickname is “DAMN!” ?Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks. ?Yo momma so fat we’re in her right now ?Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise ?Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone ?Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors ?Yo mamma so fat you have to roll…

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Kosher Jokes

1) What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers? “Is ANYTHING all right?” 2) Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner. 3) How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? (Sigh) Don’t bother, I’ll sit in the dark, I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody. 4) Sam Levy was driving down the road, gets pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to Sam’s car,…

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Read JokeKosher Jokes

No Offense, West Virginians

A West Virginia State trooper pulls over a pickupon I-79. He says to the driver, “Got any ID?” The driver says, “‘Bout what?” ———————————— Q: Did you hear about the $3,000,000 West Virginia State Lottery? A: The winner gets $3 a year for a million years. ———————————— Q: Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to southern West Virginia? A: He heard that everyone has the same DNA. ———————————— Q: Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Charleston, WV…

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Read JokeNo Offense, West Virginians

Giving your Cat a Pill, Round 2

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from under table and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw…

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Read JokeGiving your Cat a Pill, Round 2

Blonde in a row boat

One day two blondes were driving down the street in a car. The driver looks out the window and notices another blonde trying to row a boat in a field! “It’s blondes like that that give us a bad name,” states the driver. “Yeah, if I could swim I’d go out there and drown her!” replies the other.

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Read JokeBlonde in a row boat

Consider it Blessed

A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the Rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn’t need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was…

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Some interesting facts

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…

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Read JokeSome interesting facts