Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This man and his son where driving down the road the man pulls out a beer and begins taking a drink, his son asks, “dad, can i have a drink?” his dad replies, “son, can your dick touch your ass?” His son jumps in the back seat then comes back up front, “no, dad it can’t.” “sorry, son you can’t have any!” the boys father then pulls out a ciggarette, “Dad, can I have a drink?” the boy asks. “Can…
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Little Billy came home form school yesterday, all excited about landing a part in the school play. He runs to his Dad yelling, “Daddy. Daddy! I got a part in the school play!!!” “That’s really great, Billy! What part are you playing?”, asked the Dad. “I’m playing the husband!”, replies Billy. Disgruntled, the Dad puts little Billy down on the floor. Sensing his father’s diappointment, little Billy asks, “Gosh, Dad what’s wrong?” “I’m sorry son”, replies the father, “maybe next…
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A man walks into a supermarket in downtown L.A. and heads straight to the produce section. After looking at the heads of fresh lettuce on display, the customer approaches the store clerk and asks, “Excuse me. Can I buy half a head of lettuce?” Shaking his head, the clerk says, “I’m sorry. But we sell those by the whole head.” “But I don’t need a whole head, just half. C’mon surely you can accommodate my simple request,” insists the customer.…
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A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”…
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Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson’s house, Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something. “He won’t get away with it this time,” muttered Robinson to his wife. “Watch this.” “Er, I wonder if you’d be using your power saw this morning,” the neighbor began. “Gee, I’m awfully sorry,” said Robinson, with a smug look, “but the fact of the matter is, I’ll be using it all day.” “In that case,” said the neighbor, “you won’t be…
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In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida. Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami. “Excuse me,” she said to the manager. “My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks.” “I’m awfully sorry,” he replied, “but all of our rooms are occupied.” Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out. “What luck,” said…
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A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing the man’s sorry progress. Figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, he proceeded to enter his side of the confessional. His attention was rewarded only by a…
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Three nuns died and went to heaven. St. Peter upon seeing them says “You three have been so good that I will allow you to go back as anyone you want.” The first nun says, “I want to go back as Madonna, that woman has fucked everyone,” The second nun says, “I want to go back as Linda Lovelace, now there’s a whore!” The third says, “I want to go back as Alice Kinpipaline!” St. Peter says, “Sorry sister, there…
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This appeared in a local Sunday magazine recently. For those unfamiliar with the Star Wars saga, James Earl Jones was the voice of that great villain Darth Vader. But those Star Wars fans will surely appreciate this fanciful article : Supposedly James Earl Jones is Vassar College’s Commencement speaker for this year. Oddly, this event coincides with the release of the much awaited “Phantom Menace” and the unexpected popularity of Baz Luhrmann’s “Sunscreen Song” (which, if you haven’t had your…
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Taoism: Shit Happens Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit Happens” Buddhism: If Shit Happens, it isn’t really Shit Zen (Rinzai): What is the sound of Shit Happening? Zen (Soto): Shit just Happens Hinduism: This Shit Happened before Sikhism: Leave our Shit alone Jainism: Don’t accidentally swallow flies and Shit Islam: If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah Nation of Islam: Don’t take no Shit! Hare Krishna: Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Rama *ding ding* Agnosticism: Does Shit Happen? Atheism: No…
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