Son johnny Jokes

Little Johnny’s Science Lesson

In school one day the teacher decided she would teach about materials in science class. So she stood in the front of the class and said, “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?” Little Richie raised his hand and said, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche.” The teacher nodded and called on little Susie Marie. Little Susie said, “I would…

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Little Johnny’s Gender Lesson

One day, Little Johnny was home from school earlier than usual. Without a word, he handed his mother a note from the school principal. In the note, the principal wrote, “We are sending Johnny home early to prevent disrupting the class. Please educate him on the difference between male and female.” After reading the note, Little Johnny’s mother took him silently to her bedroom upstairs. When they were in the bedroom, Little Johnny’s mother said to him, “Little Johnny, take…

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Little Johnny’s Lesson

Little Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each other. “Dad, what are those dogs doing?” asks Little Johnny “Well, the one below is relaxed and the one on top is concentrating.” “Okay, I understand.” “What do you understand?” asks the father sarcastically. “Never relax in life, Dad, or you’ll get fucked like a dog!”

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Little Johnny’s Bible Lesson

At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill. “Johnny what’s the matter?” she asked. Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”

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Johnny’s History Lesson

Miss Adams was giving her 2nd graders an introduction to History. “You all know this is our year 1999, but in the Jewish calendar it’s 5759 and in the Chinese calendar it’s 4759. What does that suggest to you, boys and girls?” Johnny raised his hand. “Yes, Johnny?” said Miss Adams. “For a thousand years the Jewish people couldn’t go out to a Chinese restaurant.”

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Vocabulary Lesson: Indifferent

The teacher asked who in the class could define the word “indifferent.” Little Johnny raised his hand and said, “That’s easy, it means it feels so good.” The teacher asked how he came up with that definition, and Johnny said, “I was up in my room last night, and my sister and her boyfriend were down on the porch, and I heard her say, ‘That feels so good’ and her boyfriend said, ‘That’s cause it’s in different.’”

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Little Johnny Curses

One Sunday at church, as little Johnny was leaving, the preacher heard him say a curse word. The preacher stopped him and said “Son, every time I hear you say a curse word, it sends chills down my spine.” “Well,” Little Johnny replied, “If you had been at my house yesterday when daddy slammed his finger in the door, you would be frozen!”

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Dirty Johnny and the Priest

Dirty Johnny is walking through the park one day and he sees a Priest. Noticing the way he is dressed, Johnny says, “Hey mister, what’s with the backwards collar?” The Priest says, “Well my son, I’m a Father.” Dirty Johnny says, “Well, my pop’s got three kids and he don’t wear a collar like that.” The Priest says, “No, you don’t understand. I’m the father of THOUSANDS.” Dirty Johnny says, “Well, if you’re the father of THOUSANDS maybe you should…

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Lil’ Johnny on Politics

Lil’ Johnny goes up to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well, Son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the bread winner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Mummy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny– well, consider her as the working class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him the future.…

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Conversations of Little Johnny with the Mayor

On the campaign trail, the mayor running for re-election walks up to a house of his campaign adviser and rings the doorbell. When a small boy opens the door, the mayor introduces himself, “Hello there, little boy! What’s your name?” “Little Johnny,” replies the small boy. “Well, Little Johnny, I’m Mayor Hoffman. I’m running for re-election. Can I speak to your father?” “He’s in the shower right now,” answers Little Johnny with a giggle. “Oh! Well, is your mother in…

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