Social security office Jokes

Social Security age test

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the grey hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, shows her the check, and explains to her what has happened. She replies, “Well get back down there, pull down your pants, and see if…

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social security

One Sunday an elderly man tells his wife he is going to apply for Social Security. She tells him, “You can’t apply for benefits when you don’t even have a Social Security card!” He simply says, “Watch me.” Monday morning he dresses and off to the Social Security office he goes. When he returns, he says, “Well, I got it!” She asks, “How in the world did you get Social Security?” “I just opened up my shirt and showed them…

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Bush in Office

December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…

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Heavenly Voice Mail

WHAT IF GOD HAD VOICE MAIL We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered: what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this: Thank you for calling The Lord’s House. Please select from the following options: Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS Press 2 for THANKSGIVING Press 3 for COMPLAINTS Press 4 for HEALING Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS Press 6 for…

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Oops, wrong number!

In this particular branch of the Army’s officer training school, the instructor was returning tests to the trainees. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security numbers. In the early hours of the morning, the instructor was calling out the numbers. “Four-seven-seven-zero?” he asked. “Here,” replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the paper, though, he realized he had mistakenly taken the wrong paper. “Seven-zero-seven-five?” asked the instructor. “Here,” repeated the student, gearing for trouble. “I…

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