Second man Jokes

2-for-1 Hitman

There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said, “Sure.” So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They…

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Second Honeymoon

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.” “Uh huh,” said the old man. “We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman. “Uh huh,” said the old man. “And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon,” said the old woman.…

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Man On Beach

A man with no arms and no legs is sitting on a beach when these three beautful women walk past and notice him. One of the beautiful women felt so sorry for him and askes, “have you ever been hugged?” The man replied, “no” and the beautful woman bent over and gave him a hug. Then the second girl askes, ” have you never been kissed?” The man begins getting really exicited and replys, “No, never!” and the girl bent…

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African man and a genie

An African man is in the desert dying of thirst when he happens to come across a bottle. He opens it and out pops a genie. The grateful genie tells him that he will grant the man three wishes. The man immediately replies, “For my first wish, I want water. For my second wish, I want to be white. For my last wish, since I have not seen a woman for quite some time, I wish to see buttocks every…

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Harry the Milkman

A guy arrives home from the local tavern and says to his wife, “Harry Johnson the milkman reckons he’s seduced every woman in our street, except one.” She thinks for a couple of seconds then says, “Yeah, probably that stuck-up bitch at number forty-nine.”

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Man on the Ladies’ Tee

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course, and I was beginning my pre-shot routine on #1, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker. “Would the gentleman on the Ladies Tee back up to the Men’s Tee, please!!” I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement–“Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S Tee kindly back up to the Men’s Tee.” I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse…

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A Grizzled Old Man

A grizzled old man was eating in a diner at a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man’s milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s…

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Read JokeA Grizzled Old Man

On Second Thought

A young gay man calls up his mother to tell her that he is giving up being gay as he has met the woman who, he believes, is his soul mate. In fact he says, “We are so much in love that we plan to get married next month! That’s why I called you. I’m sure you will be happy to know that I have turned my back on the gay lifestyle.” “I am very happy indeed,” says his mother.…

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Their Ideal Man

A Chinese man asked his three daughters what their ideal man should be. The first daughter said, “I want a man with three dragons on his chest.” The second daughter said, “I want a man with two dragons on his arms.” The third daughter said, “I want a man with one draggin’ on the ground.”

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Perfect Woman … Almost

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission…

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Read JokePerfect Woman … Almost