Sarcasm Jokes

A24: The New ‘Personality Trait’ You *Must* Have on Your Dating Profile

The alternative dating app Feeld has dropped a bombshell revelation: forget shared hobbies or personality traits, your true compatibility test now lies with your film studio preferences! ? It seems the once-boutique studio A24 has officially transcended mere filmmaking to become a ‘worldwide signifier of edgy yet popular entertainment.’ Translation: if you want to appear cool and discerning (but not too discerning), you better have A24 listed right alongside ‘loves long walks on the beach’ and ‘fluent in sarcasm.’ Apparently,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeA24: The New ‘Personality Trait’ You *Must* Have on Your Dating Profile

whipped guys

Ten Things Whipped Guys Do 10. Asks if there is anything more he can do for her (wihout sarcasm). 9. Goes to the store to get stuff for her and likes it. 8. Leaves fresh towels in the bathroom. 7. Actually listens to her problems and will turn off the tv to do so. 6. Gives a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 5. Gives her a backrub if it looks like her neck is sore. 4.…

(4)Loading...

Read Jokewhipped guys

Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days

1. Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 4. Do I look like a fucking people person? 5. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 6. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat. (Wait a minute, I hate cats. Change that to my dog.) 7. Did the aliens…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeUseful Expressions for High-Stress Days

Sayings that should be on BUTTONS

01. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 02. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 03. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 04. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 05. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 06. Do I look like a fricking people person? 07. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 08. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 09.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSayings that should be on BUTTONS

red light, green light

Two men were riding in a car when the driver of the car ran a red light. The passenger, scared of getting pulled over — or worse — warned the driver, “You’d better be careful, you’ll get a ticket!” The driver replied, “It’s okay, my brother does it all of the time.” A little further up the road the driver ran yet another red light and treated it with the same regard as the first. Before the passenger could say…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokered light, green light

Goodnight Kiss

All he asked for was a little goodnight kiss, but she haughtily rebuffed him with, “I don’t DO that sort of thing on my first date!” “Well,” he replied with dripping sarcasm, “how about on your LAST date?”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeGoodnight Kiss