Safari Jokes

Baillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

Well, move over, weighty biographies and profound philosophical treatises! The prestigious Baillie Gifford prize has unveiled a shortlist that reads less like a literary award and more like the guest list for the world’s most interesting (and slightly unhinged) dinner party. ? We’re talking ‘horny wolves, eunuchs, and pirates’ all vying for top nonfiction honors. Apparently, authors like Helen Garner and Richard Holmes are at the forefront of this wild ride, with their nonfiction books not only exploring these… diverse…

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Read JokeBaillie Gifford Prize Shortlist Reveals It’s Not Just Books, It’s a Safari of ‘Horny Wolves, Eunuchs, and Pirates’!

Safari

Three men – an Engineer, an Artist and Bill Clinton – go on safari when a huge elephant ambles out of the bush. The Engineer looks at the animal and thinks: “What a powerful beast, if only my employees could come up with something as efficient as that”. The Artist thinks: “If only we could catch him, we could make lots of beautiful things with his hide.” And Bill Clinton thinks: “I wonder what the elephant thinks of me!”

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Deep Shit!

Some dude is in the jungle on a safari, while photographing birds he loses track of his group, and suddenly he stands in front of a native tribe. He says to himself, “Now I?m in really deep shit!” Suddenly, for the first time in his life he hears a divine voice from above: “No, You?re not. Do you see that big rock in front of you?” “Y-yes!” the man says. The voice booms, “Pick it up and throw it in…

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The 3 inch man

A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. One for me and one for my best buddy.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour his?” The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” He then pulls a little 3 inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks, “You mean to say,…

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Got to Love Your Mother-In-Law

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick,…

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Little Man

Rodney walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots–one for me and one for my best buddy here.” The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour this?” Rodney says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” With that, he pulls out a little three-inch man from his pocket. The bartender says, “Wow! And you mean to…

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Hot Scoop

A gorilla is walking through the jungle. He parts the bushes by the watering hole and sees a lion taking a drink of water with his butt sticking up in the air. The gorilla thinks to himself that it would be really funny if he snuck up behind this “King of the Jungle” and slipped him the old sausage. So the gorilla sneaks up on his tiptoes behind the lion, grabs him by the hips and starts pumping him in…

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