Rottweiler Jokes

Kosher Jokes

1) What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers? “Is ANYTHING all right?” 2) Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner. 3) How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? (Sigh) Don’t bother, I’ll sit in the dark, I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody. 4) Sam Levy was driving down the road, gets pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to Sam’s car,…

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robber and Jesus

One evening a guy broke into a house and began to burglarize it. He started to unhook the t.v when he heard “Jesus is watching you.” He looked around and no one was there. He started to unhook the stero and again heard “Jesus is watching you.” When he turned the corner he saw a parrot. He asked, “Are you the one saying Jesus is watching you?” The parrot answered “yes.” Then he asked the parrot what his name was,…

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meanest dog

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and…

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Jesus is gonna get you

It was way past midnight and a man was robbing a house. Just then he hears this voice say, “Jesus is gonna get you!” The robber thinks nothing of it and begins to take the T.V. when he hears the voice again: “Jesus is gonna get you!” The robber discovers that the noise is from a parrot, so he walks up to the parrot and says, “What’s your name, little guy?” The parrot replies, “Moses”. The robber says, “What kind…

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Will the REAL media please stand up!

Although the today’s joke was submitted “anonymously”, we at Comedy.com suspect that Bill O’Riely may have submitted it. If so, thanks Bill! Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck. A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview…

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Cross-eyed Dog

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. “My dog’s cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks up the dog examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What! Because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s bloody heavy!”

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