Rex Jokes

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An 85 year old man marries a lovely 25 year old woman. Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She is concerned that the old fellow could overexert himself. After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting. Sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action. They unite in conjugal union and all…

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My thoughts, from my mind….

If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…

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BLONDE NURSES’ HANDBOOK #2

Anesthesia…Movie about crazy Russian girl Aorta…Responsibility, as in “Aorta empty that bedpan” Atrophy…Bowling team award Blue Baby…Newborn Smurf Caplet…Beanie Coccyx…More than one dick Colon…Punctuation mark Coma….Ditto Diarrhea…Little book of personal thoughts Eroded Disc…Worn out LP Fibula…Little white lie Fractures…One half, one third…numbers like that Hyperextension…Extra-long telephone cord Lobotomy…Getting your ears pierced Medicine…Invented lightbulb Shingles…Those thingys on roof Spinal Tap…Rock band or dance step Sternum…Canned heat for camping Tongue Depressor…Makes tongue sad X-rayed…Porno movie

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Read JokeBLONDE NURSES’ HANDBOOK #2

Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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DOCTORS’ NOTES ON PATIENT CHARTS

(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…

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Read JokeDOCTORS’ NOTES ON PATIENT CHARTS

Bubba Claus

As you know, I have been delivering presents to good boys and girls for several centuries, but after bypass surgery last Spring, I feel that I can no longer visit every home on earth in the early hours of Christmas morning. Accordingly, I have asked a distant cousin on my father’s side if he would assume some of my responsibilities by visiting the homes in the southern USA, as he is from the deep South himself…actually the South Pole. His…

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Suspicious Delivery

When there an unexpected knock on my door, I first opened the peephole and asked, “Who’s there?” “Parcel Post, with a package for the Drexhages.” “Where’s the package?” I asked suspiciously. The deliveryman held it up. “Could I see some ID?” I said, still not convinced. “Lady,” he replied, wearily, “if I wanted to break into your house, I’d probably just use these.” And he pulled out the keys I had left in the front door.

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Read JokeSuspicious Delivery