Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A little girl came running into the house and said, “Mommy, I met the most wonderful man this morning. He was the garbage man, and he was carrying a big bag over his head, and it broke and went all over him. And, you know, Mommy, he just stood there and talked to his mother, his son, and God.”
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Pope Leo Thinks Humanity Is ‘In Big Trouble’ Over One Tech Mogul’s Trillion-Dollar Pay. It seems even the holiest of figures can’t ignore the sheer absurdity of modern wealth! ? During his very first media interview, a concerned religious leader — known for his humble lifestyle — declared that humanity is facing ‘big trouble’. His divine consternation was sparked by the ever-growing chasm between the ultra-rich and, well, everyone else. Specifically, he pointed to one particular tech visionary who is…
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The other day I went into the local religious book store where I saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car and I’m really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed! I was stopped at a light at a busy intersection, just lost in thoughts of the Lord and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots…
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A man buys a horse and is unable to get it to move. He kicked it, yelled giddy up, but to no avail. He goes back to the seller and voices his displeasure. The seller says, “I’m terribly sorry. I forgot to tell you that this is a religious horse and to get it to run you have to say ‘Jesus Christ’ and to get it to stop you have to say ‘Amen’.” So, knowing this the new owner goes…
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Ol’ Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol’ Fred’s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol’ Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not…
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by Dave Berry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with…
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The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.” In a flash of lightning, God delivered the specifications for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans and agreed…
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The parents of a newborn son were devastated to learn that their baby was born with a golden screw in his navel. Surgeons had never seen this before, and fearing it would harm the boy, refused to operate. The parents were very religious and accepted the birth defect as God’s will. The mother never gave up faith, and as her son grew up she prayed daily for God to cure him. The boy was very shy, always hiding his golden-screw…
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A notorious burglar observes the day-to-day activities of an old lady who is living alone in an apartment as he waits for an opportunity to rob her place if she ever leaves. Sure enough when the old lady goes out to attend an early evening mass, the burglar goes into action and manages to break into her apartment. However, as the burglar is looking for anything to steal, the old lady unexpectedly comes back to the apartment as she forgets…
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1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…
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