Railroad track Jokes

Two drunks were walking down a railroad track one night when one drunk stops and says, “This is the longest set of stairs I’ve ever seen!” The other drunk replies, “Yes, and these damned handrails are too low, too.”

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A kindergarden teacher wanted to teach her kids ‘grown up’ words one day. She would ask her kids to describe something and tell them the correct form of the words that were babyish. She asked the first student, “Nicole, what machine moves on railroad tracks?” Nicole answered, “The choo-choo!” The teacher said, “No, you mean the train.” Nicole replied, “The train!” The teacher rewarded her with a gold star. Next the teacher called on Kevin. The teacher asked, “What pet…

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Thinking “outside the box” may have its advantages, but consider this situation. A game chap is applying for a job as a flagman/switch operator on the railroad. “What would you do if the Northern Express was heading north on Track 1 and the Southern Central was heading south on Track 1?” the chief engineer asks him. “Well,” says the applicant, “I’d call my brother.” “Why would you call your brother?” “He’s never seen a train wreck before.”

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In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver quite ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he’d done it. The court believed his story, and the…

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