Priests Jokes

Two Priests

Two Priests died and met at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The computer was down, so St. Peter asked them if they would hang out on earth for a week as anything they wanted. They both agreed. The first priest asked to be an eagle for a week. “So be it,” said St. Peter and off the priest went. The second priest asked to if he could be a “Stud” for a week, and St. Peter once again…

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Read JokeTwo Priests

Two Priests

Two priests were done for the day and decided to head for the showers. When they got in they realized neither one had brought soap, so one of them says, “I’ll be alright to go out in the hall naked just to get some soap”, so out he goes and is on his way back with 2 bars of soap when 3 nuns come walking down the hall. The priest froze and pretended he was a statue, with the bars…

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Read JokeTwo Priests

Nun’s Tale

A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. “Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?” he asked. “No, Father. Just a little gas,” Sister Susan explained. A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight. “Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?” he asked again. “Oh no, Father. Just a little gas,” she replied again. A couple of months later the priest…

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What not to offer a priest

A naive wife, ever the gracious hostess, was serving drinks at a party over the holidays. A friend of the couple brought his brother who had just been ordained a Priest. She offered the friend a drink from the tray and turned to the Priest and said, “I’m so sorry Father, I’ll go right back to the kitchen and bring you a Coke.” The Priest smiled and said, “No need. I may have alcohol. Priests abstain from sex, not the…

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King Arthur & the Old Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur?s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the…

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Interesting Facts (again)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps outward to squirt blood 30 feet. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (Lucky Pig!) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still not over that pig thing!) Humans, whales and dolphins are the only species that have sex for…

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Trip to Hawaii

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist”garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a “drop dead”…

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Read JokeTrip to Hawaii