Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. “WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD? WHAT DO YOU WANT?” Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I had a terrible time with Iran, so I’ve come for some courage.” “No problem” says the Wizard, “WHO IS NEXT?” Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well.. Well.. Well.. I…
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what is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, Bill clinton??? A; George washington could never tell a lie, Richard Nixon could never tell the truth, Bill Clinton can never tell the difference!!!!
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Five of the presidents were taking a cruise when they hit an iceberg. Ford cried: Oh my goodness! What do we do? Reagan said: Man the lifeboats! Carter added: Women and children first. Nixon said: Screw the women and children! And Clinton asked: Do we have time?
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Americans who feel bad about the state of the presidency do not fret. We have come full circle, back to the glory days of the great American Presidents. In just 35 short years we have gone from “Kennedy and Camelot to Clinton and Came-alot”
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After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy…
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“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…
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Two college presidents were talking about how difficult their jobs were. “I wish I ran an orphanage,” said the one president, “and then I wouldn’t have to deal with parents and all the crap they give me.” The second one looked up and said, “I’d like to be the head warden responsible for death row inmates.” The first president look surprised and said, “Why would you want THAT job?” “I wouldn’t have to deal with alumni,” he replied.
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And remember that it’s ALL COMPLETELY TRUE… ************************************* Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both were shot in the head.…
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You know you?re about to be impeached when: * When you call to congratulate Mark MacGuire, he lets his answering machine get it. * Your press secretary keeps introducing you as William Milhous Clinton. * You?re invited to appear on Jeopardy?s “Impeached Presidents Week.” * Tipper Gore is in your office measuring it for new curtains. * Even the nastiest intern won?t give you the time of day. * The Library of Congress stops letting you sign out books. *…
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In the Beginning was The Plan And then came the Assumptions And the Assumptions were without form and the Plan was completely without substance and the darkness was upon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves, saying “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh to high heaven.” And the workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth, “It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof.” And the Supervisors went unto their…
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