Poll Jokes

After 77 Years, Scientists Finally Crack Jackson Pollock’s ‘Number 1A’ Paint Mystery, Discover It’s the ‘Bad Blue’ Banned by Environmentalists

Well, would you look at that! After a mere 77 years, dedicated art historians and scientists have finally identified the specific blue pigment used in Jackson Pollock’s iconic 1948 masterpiece, ‘Number 1A’. ? Talk about a slow reveal! But here’s the kicker: the ‘manganese blue’ pigment they so painstakingly traced? Turns out it was phased out for environmental reasons. So, basically, they spent decades unraveling a great art mystery just to find out Pollock was dripping with a color that…

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Read JokeAfter 77 Years, Scientists Finally Crack Jackson Pollock’s ‘Number 1A’ Paint Mystery, Discover It’s the ‘Bad Blue’ Banned by Environmentalists

poll

Today we took a poll to see how many women would sleep with the President. 10% said “no” 10% said “yes” and the other 80% said “never again”

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Blonde Poll

This blonde is walking through the mall one day, when a man walks up to her and says, “Good afternoon, ma’am. Would you like to take a poll?” The blonde answers, “Sure. Does the flag come with it?”

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Phone-In Polls

You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there’s always about 18% that say, “I don’t know.” It costs 90 cents to call up and vote…They’re voting, “I don’t know.” Example: “Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone.” Then he makes his call and says, “I DON’T KNOW!” then hangs up, looking proud because he voiced his non-opinion. This guy probably calls up phone sex girls at…

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Polly Wolly Spit Shine Boots

Jack bought a pair of polly wolly spit shine boots. So Jack went to a dance and asked Cindy to dance. She said yes, and Jack said “I bet your wearing purple underwear. She said, “How did you know?” “I just looked at my polly wolly spit shine boots,” said Jack. Then he asked Mindy to dance, and he said, “I bet your wearing red underwear.” She asked how he knew. He said, “I just looked at my polly wolly…

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Apollo Moon Mission

About 1966 or so, a NASA team doing work for the Apollo Moon Mission, took the astronauts near Tuba City where the terrain of the Navajo Reservation looks very much like the lunar surface. Alone, with all the trucks and large vehicles, there were two large figures dressed in full lunar space suits. Nearby, a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo peple were noticed and…

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Polluted Drinking Fountain

A drunk man was casually taking a leak into a drinking fountain in the park. A police officer came up to him and yelled, franctially, “WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? THERE IS A PUBLIC TOILET 20 FEET FROM HERE!” The drunk, amazed, yells back, “WHAT DO YOU THINK I HAVE HERE, A HOSE?!”

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Change in Voting Schedule

Because of an anticipated voter-turnout much larger than originally expected, the polling facilities may not be able to handle the load all at once. Therefore, Republicans are asked to vote on Tuesday, November 7, and Democrats on Wednesday, November 8. Please pass this messagae along and help us to make sure that nobody gets left out.

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Uncompromising Position

A congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. “If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I’m against it. But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I’m for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise.”

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Read JokeUncompromising Position