Piece of cake Jokes

10 things that piss me off

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy…Where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? 2.The Pillsbury Dough Boy is way too happy…considering that he doesn’t have a dick!! 3.People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the damn tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change it…

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Read Joke10 things that piss me off

Kids in the Hospital

Two little kids in a hospital who were laying next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks “What are you in here for?” The second kid says “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It’s…

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Read JokeKids in the Hospital

Boys will be Boys

Two little boys were in the hospital. The first kid leaned over and asked, “What are you in here for?” The second kid said, “I’m here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid said, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jell-o and ice cream. It’s a piece of cake!” The second kid…

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Read JokeBoys will be Boys

Contractions

There was this happily married couple that decided to have a baby. After nine hard long months the mother finally started having contractions and it was time to go to the hospital. The mother was really scared of all the pain she was going to go through so she told the doctors that she wanted all the drugs she could get. The head doctor said, “We have designed a new device that transfers the pain from the mother of the…

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Read JokeContractions

The Unkindest Cut

Two babies were in a hospital laying next to each other. The first kid leaned over and asked, “What are you in here for?” The second kid said,” I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid said, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a piece…

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Read JokeThe Unkindest Cut

The Stress Diet

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast l cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie Mid-Afternoon snack: The rest of Oreos in the package 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce Dinner: 2 loaves garlic bread 4 cans or…

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Read JokeThe Stress Diet

10 notes on Dieting

1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do. 4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. e.g. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake. 5. If you fatten…

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Read Joke10 notes on Dieting