Paint Jokes

After 77 Years, Scientists Finally Crack Jackson Pollock’s ‘Number 1A’ Paint Mystery, Discover It’s the ‘Bad Blue’ Banned by Environmentalists

Well, would you look at that! After a mere 77 years, dedicated art historians and scientists have finally identified the specific blue pigment used in Jackson Pollock’s iconic 1948 masterpiece, ‘Number 1A’. ? Talk about a slow reveal! But here’s the kicker: the ‘manganese blue’ pigment they so painstakingly traced? Turns out it was phased out for environmental reasons. So, basically, they spent decades unraveling a great art mystery just to find out Pollock was dripping with a color that…

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Read JokeAfter 77 Years, Scientists Finally Crack Jackson Pollock’s ‘Number 1A’ Paint Mystery, Discover It’s the ‘Bad Blue’ Banned by Environmentalists

The Painter

An optometrist operates on a hippie painter’s girlfriend and saves her eyesight. The hippie painter is so grateful that he goes to the doctor’s house one day, while the doctor has office hours, goes inside and paints a huge eye on an entire wall of the living room, leaving the fireplace as the pupil of the eye. He’s just finishing up when the doctor walks in. He says to the doctor, “Well, do you like it man?” The doctor says,…

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Read JokeThe Painter

The Painting

One day, there was a blonde in a museum looking at the paintings, when she noticed one that made her speechless, as she stared studying it very closely, she assumed it to be a Picasso, but then a guy knocked her out of the way and starting combing his hair in front of it.

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Read JokeThe Painting

The Painted Porch

Being a bit down on his luck, a man goes door-to-door looking for work. Finally at one very nice looking house a compassionate woman offers the man work painting the porch out back. She figures it will take about two hours and offers the man $20 to do the job. He agrees. She gives him a gallon of green paint and a brush and he goes behind the house to work. Barely a half hour later he knocks on the…

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Read JokeThe Painted Porch

Blondie paints a highway

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job. At the end of the first day, the redhead had painted 3 miles, the brunette had painted 2.5 miles and the blonde had painted 10 miles. The boss was so excited, he told her to keep it up and the job was hers.…

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Read JokeBlondie paints a highway

A blonde paints the bedroom

A blond says to her boyfriend, ” Sweetie while you’re out I want to repaint our bedroom” The boyfriend replies, “Ok” When he gets home he finds his girlfriend lying in a pile of sweat wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat. He then asks her, “Why are you wearing two jackets?” She replies, “Well on the paint can it said put on two coats for better results.

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Read JokeA blonde paints the bedroom

Blonde paint job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” The blonde said, “How about 50 dollars?” The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the…

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Read JokeBlonde paint job

Rembrandt’s Self-Portrait Embarks on ‘Slow Tour’ of England, Offers Meditation Sessions Because Apparently We Forgot How to Look at Art

Rembrandt’s Self-Portrait Embarks on ‘Slow Tour’ of England, Offers Meditation Sessions Because Apparently We Forgot How to Look at Art. ? A National Trust-owned masterpiece is hitting the road, but not in a hurry! This isn’t your average gallery visit; prepare for a truly ‘lingering’ experience. The tour comes complete with a dedicated ‘meditation option’ for art lovers, presumably to guide them through the arduous task of simply looking at a painting. ? Because who needs to just appreciate art…

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Read JokeRembrandt’s Self-Portrait Embarks on ‘Slow Tour’ of England, Offers Meditation Sessions Because Apparently We Forgot How to Look at Art

Thoughts from within my brain…

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station… What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? If Stop & Shop and the A&P were to merge would it be called Stop & P? I believe five out of…

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Read JokeThoughts from within my brain…