Men
What do men and parking spaces have in common? The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicap.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Paces Jokes
A lady and an alien
One day a lady stopped at a gas station for gas. A few minutes later a spaceship landed and out came an alien and he started to pump fuel. The lady noticed the letters U.F.O. on the spaceship and asked the alien if U.F.O. stands for Unidentified Flying Object? The alien said no, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only.
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Dumb Men Q&A
Q What do men and beer bottles have in common? A They’re both empty from the neck up. Q How many guys does it take to put the toilet seat down? A Don’t know. It’s never happened. Q How are men like parking spaces? A The good ones are always taken and the only ones left are handicapped.
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Carjacking Foiled:
An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required…. so get out of the car. The 4 men didn’t wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping…
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Funny from the Headlines
Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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A Good Scare
My friend, George, an ex-Marine Aviator, wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane. I was riding along as he put it through its paces. Suddenly, we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightening crashing all around us. We lost the radio and instrument capabilities. As we were being tossed around in the sky, George said, “DANG!!” Fearing the worst, I asked, “What’s wrong now?” George replied, “I got the hiccups. Do something to scare me.”
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Dinner for THREE?
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her…
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UFO Cover-Up
There’s something everyone should know: On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.
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