Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A gang of robbers burst into the bank and ordered everyone present to gather into the open space, to strip and lie down on the floor before they proceeded to get the money from the tellers’ drawers and the bank’s vault. A frightened blonde teller took off all her clothes and then lay face up on the floor. “Psst, Cindy, turn over,” hissed a woman beside the blonde. “This is a stick-up, not an office party!”
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Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal candidate for this position would enjoy galactic travel and possess a complete understanding of and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn. Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on intervention in support of the Sith Masters planning initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of…
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I have always been a critic of Seattle driving, but recently I had a chance to see how others drive in far away countries, such as China. Since then, I have developed a profound respect for how we drive here in the Northwest. Why? What could be so bad about the driving in China? Here is a collection of short observations I have made riding in the Great Country of China. While Driving in China……………………… Traffic signals are (how should…
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…
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1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…
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Mother decided that 10-year-old Cathy should get something ‘practical’ for her birthday. “Suppose we open a savings account for you?” mother suggested. Cathy was delighted. “It’s your account, Darling,” mother said as they arrived at the bank, “so you fill out the application.” Cathy was doing fine until she came to the space for ‘Name of your former bank.’ After a slight hesitation, she put down, ‘Piggy.’
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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…
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Just in case we need any additional proof that the “bozo index” is at all time highs (and going higher), consider these for-real label instructions on consumer goods: ************************************* On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that…
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