Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two guys on a motorcycle were driving down the road. The driver was wearing an old leather jacket that didn’t have any buttons or a zipper. Finally, he pulled over and told his riding buddy, “I can’t ride anymore with the air hitting me in my chest this way.” After thinking for a second, his buddy suggested, “Yo, it’s like this…put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting you straight on.” So they continued down the road.…
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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy. “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen of Noo Yawk City. I drove a cab for 25 years.” Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to…
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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…
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During world war 2 a Scottish general, an English general and an Irish general were captured by a German S.S. officer. They were all standing outside a concentration camp when the S.S. agent says, “Before du go in to die concentration camp , I vill give each of you vone hundert lashes , but since you have vought bravely I vill give you one vish each.” He then turns to the Scottish general and asks him, “Vhat is your vish…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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Last time the circus came to town, only two applicants answered an ad in the local paper for an animal trainer. The owner decided to audition the male and female applicants. At first glance, it appeared that the female was much better prepared, since she was wearing a very long, flowing cape, with a whip and chair. She looked more like a model than a trainer. The man’s only distinguishing feature was a soggy cigar stuffed between his cracked and…
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A wealthy businessman, who was a notorious cheater when playing his beloved sport of golf, died and went straight to Hell. When he got to Hell, he was surprised to find himself on a golf course with well-manicured greens and the weather so perfectly cool and clear that it did not seem like Hell at all. At the first tee, he was greeted by Satan himself who gave him a complete set of golf clubs made of gold in a…
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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City.” Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, “Take this silken robe…
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?Twas the Night Before Christmas 60’s style ?Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Things were real mellow Even Irving the mouse Our boots were hung up The incense was lit In the hopes that St. Nick Would soon do his bit The tree was decked out It was really a sight With love beads and flowers And a flashing strobe light Wearing my T-shirt From the Woodstock Nation I was getting into Some good meditation And…
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An old woman goes into a biker bar. She demands to talk to the leader. A tough-looking bearded biker stands up. “I wanna join your gang!” she says. The biker thinks for a second. “Do you have any tatoos?” he asks. “Sure,” as she bares her arm. “Hmmm, do you have a leather jacket?” “Out on my hog,” she says. “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?” “No, but I’ve been swung around the room by my tits!”
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