Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot, the man at the pet store said “I got to tell you this parrot was raised in a house of ill repute, so you might hear some bad words.” She said, “That’s OK, I’ll take him.” So she goes home and puts him in a cage. When the parrot arrives, he looks around and says, “New home, New madam.” Later when her two teenage daughters came home, the parrot…
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After all the men bashing jokes, it time to FIGHT BACK!!! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. How…
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For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from Heaven. “You’ve been such exemplary statues,” he announced to them, “that I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.” And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached…
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Laws for women to live by: 1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature…
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A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other and generally did not get on. The Scotsman owned the best chicken in the country and it laid great tasting eggs. One day the chicken broke into the Englishman’s garden and laid an egg. The two men began arguing about who the egg belonged to. The Englishman claimed it for himself, saying “The egg was laid in my garden, therefore it belongs to me.” The Scotsman countered with “It’s…
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1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…
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Finding Little Johnny making faces at the other kids on the school playground, his teacher stopped to gently reprove him. Smiling sweetly, she said, “When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
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118. By the end of the party, he’s got every damn kid doing the “pull my finger” trick. 17. Clown car must be started with a Breathalyzer device. 16. Keeps screaming, “My name’s not BO-zo, it’s bo-ZO!” 15. References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds. 14. Props for his “disappearing” trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV. 13. Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the “Severed Limb” trick. 12. Tells the kids he…
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Have you ever wondered how you draw breasts on the computer? You know how to draw faces =) asses (_|_) and animals O3“““ ~~~~~(_____*> but NO ONE can draw boobs. So I’ll show you. (o)(o) Perfect breasts (+)(+) Fake silicone breasts (*)(*) High nipple breasts (@)(@) Big nipple breasts 00 A cups {O}{O} D cups (oYo) Wonderbra breasts (^)(^) Cold breasts (o)(O) Lopsided breasts (Q)(O) Pierced breasts (p)(p) Breasts with tassels \o/\o/ Grandma breasts ( – )( – ) Flat…
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How To Shower Like A Woman: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so you can complain and whine even more about how you’re getting fat. 4. Get in the shower.…
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