Next morning Jokes

On the Floor

Dan went to his friend’s house, unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night. His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, “You can either sleep on the floor in the living room or you can sleep in the room with Baby.” Dan said that he would prefer the floor. The next morning, he went to the bathroom, and there he met this gorgeous young blonde. “Hi,” he said, “who are you?”…

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Snoring Prevention

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where. “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…

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Daddy’s too fat

One night Little Jimmy couldn’t sleep, so he goes and walks to his parents room. The door was opened up a crack. Little Jimmy looks in and sees his mother on top of the father bouncing up and down. So Little Jimmy, thinking they were busy, he went back to his bed and went to sleep. The next morning, Little Jimmy asks his mother why she was bouncing up and down on Daddy. Suprised of what her son had said,…

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Read JokeDaddy’s too fat

Gold Bar

This guy staggers home drunk one night. His wife is still up so he starts telling her about this great bar he was at. He said, “Wow honey, it was great! Everything was gold! Ya wouldn’t believe it. They had gold plates, gold mugs, gold disco balls, everything was gold! They even had gold urinals!” His wife said, “Yeah, sure honey. Why don’t you just sleep it off?” So the guy passes out. The next morning, the wife is curious…

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Snail Tale

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…

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Got it in Writing

Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife’s bedside table that said, “Wake me at six.” An exasperated Mr. Smith woke at ten the next morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: “It’s six, you bum! Get out of bed!”

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Crazy Chicken

Well there was this farmer and his rooster had just passed away, and all of his hens were sad and depressed. They were so depressed that they would not lay any eggs. So the farmer said, “I am going to have to find a new rooster.” So the farmer set out and bought a new rooster. He put the rooster in the chicken pen and suddenly the rooster mounted a hen then another then another. The farmer was amazed and…

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Roadblock

Mr. John Smith was travelling home after the annual Christmas office party. He had more than the legal limit to drink and was pulled off at the road block for an alcohol test.. He was asked to get out his car. The police delayed quite a bit in attending to him (There were plenty of drunken drivers on the road that night), so he decided to go home. The next morning at 6.00am there is a knock on his door,…

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Big Game Hunter

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognise any animal’s skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other…

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Bedtime Prayers

A father put his young son to bed every night, and to make sure he said his prayers, the father waited outside the bedroom door and listened. Each night the boy ended his prayers with “God bless mommy, daddy, the dog and the cat.” One day the cat scratched the little boy and that night he finished his prayers, “God bless mommy, daddy and the dog.” The next morning when the family awoke they found the cat dead. A few…

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