New cook Jokes

Mr. and Mrs. Smith have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Mr. Smith comes home from work and says that he has invited four of his friends from the office to their home for dinner on Friday night. Mrs. Smith is a bit apprehensive and asks if she must cook a meal for four. The husband explains that there will actually be eight coming since each will be bringing his wife. Since this is their first party,…

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WIFE: Look at these old clothes I have to wear. If people came to visit, they would think I was the cook! HUSBAND: Well, they’d change their minds if they stayed for dinner.

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The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. “Whatever could have happened?” he thinks, “Who died?” “Darling, whatever is the matter?” he asks. “Sweetheart,” she sobs, “the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering it,” she sobbed again, “I found that the cat had…

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When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: “Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love YOU so much that we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day…

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