Little Johnny’s Mummy
Little Johnny says: “But Mummy I don’t want to run around in circles anymore!” Mummy says: “Shut-up! Or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor!”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Mummy mummy Jokes
the mummy
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.” A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were right about the mummy’s age and…
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Contagious
Little Johnny’s teacher asked the class if they had ever heard the word “contagious” before. Little Susie put up her hand and proceded to tell the class that when somebody has the chicken pox they are contagious. Her mummy said so. Next was little Robert. He told the class that contagious was when somebody has got the measles. Then little Johnny stood up to set them all right. “You’re both wrong. The other day I was sitting on the porch…
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Dreams
There was this boy who woke up one night with a nightmare. He cries, “Mummy, Mummy!” His mother came rushing into the bedroom and the boy told her that he had a dream that Grandma died. So a week later, his Grandma died. The boy woke up another night screaming and he told his mother that he dreamt that Grandpa died. Strangely enough, a week later Grandpa died. The boy woke up yet another night screaming that he had a…
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Monkey Descendants
A little boy asked his mother, “Mummy, am I descended from a monkey?” The mother replied, “I don’t know, son, I never met your father’s folks.”
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Lil’ Johnny on Politics
Lil’ Johnny goes up to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well, Son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the bread winner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Mummy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny– well, consider her as the working class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him the future.…
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The Three Bears
It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through…
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Nightmares
A little boy woke up crying and ran to see his mother. “Mummy, Mummy. A voice came to me in my sleep. It said that my grandmother would die today.” The mother comforted him and told him not to worry, it was only a dream. But when he came home from school, he found his mum crying. She said that her mother had died a few hours ago. That night the voice returned. This time it said that the house…
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Little Johnny’s Mum
A teacher is talking to her class full of infants. “If your mother was a bird, what sort would she be?” she asks the children. The first child says, “If my mummy was a bird, she’d be a dove.” “That’s nice,” said the teacher, “why’s that?” “Because she’s beautiful and pure and reminds me of a dove,” says the little boy. “If my mummy was a bird, she’d be a stork,” says the second boy. “Oh and why’s that?” says…
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