Morons Jokes

The Top 50 Oxymorons

50. Act Naturally 49. Found Missing 48. Resident Alien 47. Advanced BASIC 46. Genuine Imitation 45. Airline Food 44. Good Grief 43. Same Difference 42. Almost Exactly 41. Government Organization 40. Sanitary Landfill 39. Alone Together 38. Legally Drunk 37. Silent Scream 36. British Fashion 35. Living Dead 34. Small Crowd 33. Business Ethics 32. Soft Rock 31. Butt Head 30. Military Intelligence 29. Software Documentation 28. New York Culture 27. New Classics 26. Sweet Sorrow 25. Childproof 24. “Now,…

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Two Morons

Two morons were working in a pit, digging away, while their boss was up on normal ground, sitting next to his cadillac, drinking lemonade. One moron said, “Why do we have to be down here, while our boss is up there relaxing?” The other replied, “I don’t know, I’ll go up and ask him”, which he did. The boss replied, “It’s because I’m smart and you guys are morons”. “What makes you think that?”, asked the moron. “Let me show…

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Two morons & a mule

Two morons bought a farm and moved out to the country. The farm included a mule, but the mule was pretty ornery. Every time the morons would start to lead the mule into the barn, his ears would hit the top of the door and he’d start bucking and kicking and jumping all over the barn yard. After some consideration, the morons decided that the solution to this dilemma was to raise the barn up. They were working feverishly on…

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Some select Oxymorons

Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Genuine imitation Same difference Government organization Sanitary landfill Living dead Military intelligence New classic “Now, then …” Synthetic natural gas Clearly misunderstood Definite maybe Pretty ugly Working vacation Exact estimate Good Grief and Microsoft Works!

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Read JokeSome select Oxymorons

Kindergarten Politics

A liberal kindergarten teacher taught a class of thirty. On election day, she asked the students to raise their hand if they were Democrats. 29 students raised their hands. She asked the kid with his hand down if he was a Republican. “Yes”, the boy replied. The teacher asked why and the boy said because his parents were. “Well if your parents are total morons, what does that make you?” “A Democrat.”

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New Cow

TWO MORONS BUY A COW AND TAKE IT HOME. AFTER A FEW DAYS THEY REALIZE THAT THE COW ISN’T DRINKING. THEY DECIDE TO TAKE IT DOWN TO THE RIVER AND FORCE IT TO DRINK. AFTER SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, ONE MORON SAYS TO THE OTHER,”I’LL HOLD HIS HEAD IN THE WATER AND YOU SUCK ON HIS ASS”. AFTER A FEW MINUTES THE MORON AT THE HEAD YELLS BACK TO HIS FRIEND, “IS IT WORKING?”. HIS FRIEND REPLIES, “YES,BUT RAISE HIS HEAD,…

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Marriot-Smalley, Great White Hunter

An African village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to Marriott-Smalley, the great white hunter, to come and kill the beast. For several nights Marriot-Smalley lay in wait for the lion, but it never showed up. Finally, he told the tribal chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, the hunter went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night,…

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Read JokeMarriot-Smalley, Great White Hunter