Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A waitress has just finished giving her manager a headjob in the store room. She checks her appeareance in a mirror and returns to the dining areas to check on her customers. A gay man enters and is seated in her section. She goes over to him and not realizing how tall he is even seated she welcomes him and asks what he’d like to drink. Sniffing the air of her breath the gay says, “Oh!” I just love your…
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There’s this guy who is in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So, he’s shopping around, answering ads in thenewspaper, not having much luck. One day, he comes across a bike for sale in a yard. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition and inquires about it with the owner. “This bike is beautiful!” He says. “I’ll take it! But how did you keep it in such great shape?”…
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A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid soldier raised his hand and asked, “If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?” “Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area.”
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10..You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in a razor-sharp rows. 9..That telltale lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl. 8..On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen-over licorice downspout and the stuck half-open graham cracker garage door. 7..You find your pet bunny on the…
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A teacher was working with her pupils, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. One day she brought in rolls of lifesavers of all flavors. “Children,” she announced, passing out the lifesavers, “I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these and then tell me what they are.” The kids managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons, and mint, but when the teacher gave them the honey-flavored lifesavers, every one of the kids was stumped. “I’ll give…
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One day a little boy was watching some cows in a field. There was a brown cow, a white cow and a bull. After a few mintues the boy runs into the house where his home is. “Mommy, the bull is fucking the brown cow!” the boy says “Now Billy, that is not what we say, we say the bull surprised the brown cow.” The little boy leaves and then comes back a little while later. “Mommy, mommy!” the boys…
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This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day. Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit 1 slice whole wheat toast 8 oz. skim milk Lunch: 4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast l cup steamed spinach 1 cup herb tea 1 Oreo cookie Mid-Afternoon snack: The rest of Oreos in the package 2 pints Rocky Road ice cream nuts, cherries and whipped cream 1 jar hot fudge sauce Dinner: 2 loaves garlic bread 4 cans or…
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A rancher needs a bull to service his cows, but needs to borrow the money from the bank. The banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won’t even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week, the banker returns to see if the vet has helped. The farmer looks…
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Things we have in Egypt that the rest of the world doesn’t: 1- McDonald’s home delivery (the rest of the world have to get off their lazy butts and go get it). 2-Mollokhya (for some reason our tasty national green slime has not caught on elsewhere). 3- Relaxed driving regulations (apparently, the rest of the world drives around in straight lines, how bizarre!). 4- No drunk-driving laws (well, no breath-analyzers anyway). 5- Magical economics (250 people in a 40 seater…
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Ben & Jerry’s new presidential flavors: THE FLAVORS Double Nut Joy Impeach-Mint Subpoenas ‘n’ Cream Chubby Cheatin’ Hubby Candy Pants Chilly Hillbilly Pants-offio Pistachio Horny Bubba Crunch Arkansas Peach Subpoena Butter Cup Peppermint Fatty Captain Cream Tubby Bubba Hillary Chiller Fundraising Coffee Oval Office Surprise Arkansas Smoothie Subpoena Colada Hyperactive Nuts Scandalberry
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