Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Why are men like lawn mowers? If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it. Why is a hard man good to find? You don’t have to stay up half the night massaging his ego. How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway. What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run or don’t fit right…
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Laws for women to live by: 1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature…
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The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a “Lord Nelson.” The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similariy of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the two men…
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Phil was driving home from the insurance office where he worked when his right rear tire blew. He bumped along to a stop in front of the State Mental Hospital where he noticed that he was being observed by a patient sitting on the grass. Realizing this was not a dangerous inmate, Phil ignored him and pried off the hubcap. He got the car jacked up and spun the five lug nuts off the wheel, dropping them carefully in the…
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1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. 2. Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany. 3. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers. 4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? SHUT THE DOOR! 5. So many men — so many reasons not to sleep with any of them. 6. If they put a man on the moon, we should be able…
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After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck.” “Oh, he didn’t kill himself,” Mr. James replied. “I hung him…
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This story took place at a mental hospital. The mentally retarded group of young men gathered around the swimming pool which did not have a drop of water. They pretended swimming with different styles and techniques just like the pool was full of water. The doctor was watching the group and noticed there was one man who did not swim, so he walked up to the patient: Doctor: why are you not swimming? Young man: Haha, you must not be…
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Miss Agnes McHolstein 69 Cash Ave. Beaver Valley, CO Dec. 14, 1986 My Darling, I went to the door today and the postman delivered a “partridge in a pear tree”. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn’t have been more surprised. You’re an angel. With all my love and devotion, Agnes Miss Agnes McHolstein Dec. 15, 1986 Darling, Today, the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine “Two turtle doves”. I’m delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are…
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A memo…. Mr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D.C. Dear John, Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you…
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(ACTUAL NOTES–UNEDITED!): 1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. 3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1997. 5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also…
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