Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Why are men like lawn mowers? If you’re not pushing one around, then you’re riding it. Why is a hard man good to find? You don’t have to stay up half the night massaging his ego. How is an ex-husband like an inflamed appendix? It caused you a lot of pain, and after it was removed you found out you didn’t need it anyway. What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run or don’t fit right…
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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realises he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.” “You must work in Information Technology,” says the balloonist. “I do,” replies the man. “How did you know?” “Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you…
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Mr. Jones, returning from a business trip, was surprised to find his wife in bed with a strange man. Both were nude and looked like they had been doing a lot of hard screwing. “Why, you rotten bastard!” the husband exploded with rage as he grabbed his wife’s lover by the neck. “Wait darling,” said Mrs. Jones. “You know that fur coat I got last winter? This man gave it to me. Remember the diamond necklace you like so much?…
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Three men were drinking at a bar — a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, “For her birthday I’m going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn’t like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring.” As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, “For my wife’s birthday I’m going to buy her a…
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Poo Poo Boudreaux and Poo Poo Thibodeaux were coming up in an inlet in the motor boat when they saw another boat loaded with fish. Seeing as how their luck had been awful today, Boudreaux asked the fisherman what his secret was. He said, “Jes go out to sea till the water she gets fresh. Den stop der and drop yer line.” Excited, Boudreaux fired up the motor and headed out to sea. When they got a little ways out,…
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If you have to write a ‘letter of recommendation’ for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases: -For the chronically absent: A man like him is hard to find. It seemed her career was just taking off. -For the office drunk: I feel his real talent is wasted here. We generally found him loaded with work to do. Every hour with him was a happy hour. -For an employee with no ambition: He could not care less about…
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A 75 year-old Englishman, whose hair was completely white, married a 20-year Swedish girl and she got pregnant soon afterwards. Nine months later, the Englishman walked into the maternity ward and asked the nurse on duty, “How did my wife do?” The nurse replied, “She gave birth to twin boys.” He chuckled, “Heh, heh, heh, well, I guess that goes to show even when there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.” The nurse commented,…
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In a checkout line the other day, this couple was arguing about whose turn it was to pay. The clerk was kind of half listening until she heard the lady say to the guy, “Stop being a scrote.” With a furrowed brow, the clerk asked, “What is a scrote?” Without missing a beat, the lady responded, “Short for scrotum. He is somewhere between a prick and an asshole.”
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Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. Ever noticed that all our problems start with MEN? Q: What’s the best way to kill a man? A: Put a naked blonde and a sixpack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one. Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common? A: They either cling, run or don’t fit right in the crotch! Q: Why do men whistle when they’re sitting on the toilet? A: Because…
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A woman in a furniture store had her eye on a really nice sofa she thought would look great in her den. She said to the salesman, “I really like this sofa but my husband will probably think it costs too much”. The salesman replied, “But you only make a small payment down and then don’t make any payments for six months.” The woman immediately responded, “Who told you about us?”
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