What a Memory
Q. What do you get when you cross a prostitute with an elephant? A. You’ll get a girl that will do it for peanuts and never forget you.
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Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Memory Jokes
Memory Loss
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. “You’ve got to help me, Doctor. I’m losing my memory,” he sobbed. “I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family. I was a respected member of the community. But all that’s gone now. Since my memory began failing, I’ve lost the business–I couldn’t remember my client’s names. My wife and children have left me, too. And why shouldn’t they–some…
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I’ve lost my memory
An elderly couple were having trouble remembering things. The man advised the woman that he thought they should see a doctor. Both agreed and went to the doctor. The doctor stated that was no big problem and that it is easily cured. “Get yourself a tablet and when you think of something write it on the tablet.” The couple returned home. Later that evening the man asked the woman if she would kindly get him a glass of ice water.…
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A Memory To Remember!
So this reporter checks in at some old hotel smack in middle of nowhere. Coming into the lobby, he is confronted with the strange sight of an old Indian, whittling stick, long black hair, reddish skin, sitting on one of the chairs as if he intends never to get up. “That’s Old Chief Forget-Me-Not,” whispers the man behind the desk reverently, “he is allowed to stay here for free because he let me build my hotel on his reservation.” “Why…
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Amazing Memory
Three guys were debating who has the best memory. First guy says, “I can remember the first day of my First Grade class.” Second guy says, “I can remember my first day at Nursery School!” Not to be outdone, the third guy says, “Heck, that’s nothing. I can remember going to the Senior Prom with my father and coming home with my mother!”
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Granny has a LONG memory!
When three-year-old opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. The Mother was not so pleased. She turned to Grandmom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how WE used to drive you crazy with water guns?” Grandmom smiled and then replied, “I do remember, why do you think I bought it?”
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The Memory Man
A foreigner was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” said the foreigner. “That’s the Memory Man.” said the bartender. “He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.” So the foreigner goes over, and thinking he won’t know…
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Memory Clinic
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?” “Outstanding!” Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great!” “That’s wonderful. And what was the name of that clinic? Maybe I should go.” Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn’t remember. Then a smile lit up his face, and he asked, “What do you…
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Short-Term Memory Loss
An elderly widow and widower had been dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry him. She immediately said, “Yes.” The next morning when he awoke, he remembered asking her to marry him, but he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so. Wait! No, she looked kinda funny . . . .” After about an hour of trying to remember, to no avail, he got on the telephone and…
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Signs and Symptoms of Menopause
1. HOTFLASHES You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. NIGHT SWEATS The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed. 3. MOOD SWINGS Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 4. MEMORY LOSS You write post-it notes with your kids’ names on them. 5. IRRITABILITY Your husband…
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