Marines Jokes

US Marines are Tough

It was 5 o’clock in the morning at the U.S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walked in and bellowed, “This is a birthday suit inspection! I wanna see you all formed up outside and butt naked now!” The soldiers quickly jumped out of bed, naked and shivering, and ran outside to form up in their three ranks. The sergeant walked out and yelled, “Close up the ranks and…

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Marines & Work…

Q: How many Marines does it take to change a light bulb? A: Eight: three to think of a plan-of-action, four to supervise, and one to do all of the work. This joke/true story was submitted by a Navy Hospital Corpsman who is currently serving with the Marine Corps and sees this happen everyday…

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Marine

Q. Why do Marines where such tight collars on their uniforms? A. To keep their foreskins from slipping up over their ears…..

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‘Excuses’ Received by Teachers

These are actual excuse notes teachers have received; spelling mistakes included. “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.” “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.” “Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.” “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.” “Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out…

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Viagra tests

RESEARCHERS BAFFLED The U.S. Navy Medical Corps has concluded an extensive pharmaceutical study in which an equal number of sailors and marines were administered weekly doses of Viagra. Researchers are at a loss to explain why all of the sailors achieved enhanced sexual prowess, while the Marines simply grew taller.

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Time Change

Heard over The US Armed Forces Radio Station, Okinawa, in 1959. “HELLLLOOOO Okinawa!!!!!!” For all you civilian employees the time is now 4:30. For you guys in the Army and Air Force that’s 1630 hours. For you guys in the Navy that’s 8 Bells. For you Marines……..the big hand is on the 6 and the little hand is right in between the 4 and 5.

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