Man on the radio Jokes

A Local Radio Station Contest

A local radio station, WINO, is running a competition to find contestants who can come up with words that are not found in any English Dictionary yet can still use these words in a sentence that will make logical sense; the prize being a trip for two to Bali for a week. The DJ, Sam, has many callers, the following two standing out: DJ : WINO, what’s your name? Caller: Hi, my name’s Dave. DJ: Dave, what is your word?…

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Read JokeA Local Radio Station Contest

Aussie Radio Show

on day on qfm (queensland fm) there was a phone in contest if you could use a word that isn’t in the dictonary in a setence then you win 2 weeks in la so this man phones in and says my word is gaan the radio host checks and it isn’t in the dictoinary so the bloke say his sentence “gaan F**k yourself the host hangs up and says no rude words please so another bloke phones up and says…

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Read JokeAussie Radio Show

Breakfast Radio

This story occurred on Melbourne radio. One of the FM stations had a competition where they ring someone up, ask them three personal questions, ring their spouse or partner, ask them the same three questions, if the answers are the same, the couple win a holiday to Bali. The competition went like this: Presenter: Gidday its XXX-FM, do you want to play the game ? Brian: Yeah, sure. Presenter: O.K., Question 1 – When was the last time you had…

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Read JokeBreakfast Radio

Breathalizer

There was a cop who saw a speeding red Corvette driving down the road. So, as his job required, he pulled the car over. There was a hot 5’7″ blonde in the car. The officer asked her, “Ma’am, can I see your driver’s license?” To this the woman woman replies, “What’s that?” The cop told her it was a thing you normally find in you pocketbook. The blonde found it and said, “Here ya go.” Then the cop asked to…

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Read JokeBreathalizer

Carburetor Maintenance

A young woman was bored with driving her BMW. It lacked individuality and besides that, every other girl in the office had one. She fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible. That week she visited her local car dealer and spied a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible. It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with its gorgeous red paint work. An empty check stub later, she was tearing down the leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful…

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Read JokeCarburetor Maintenance

Stupid People Should Advertise

Stupid people should have to wear signs that say, “I’M STUPID!” That would save the rest of us “normal” folks a lot of headaches. We wouldn’t rely on them or expect much from them. It would be like, “Oh, excuse me. Never mind. I just noticed your sign.” It’s like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes, and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says, “Hey, you moving?”…

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Read JokeStupid People Should Advertise

Everybody’s Free (To Embrace the Dark Side of the Force)

This appeared in a local Sunday magazine recently. For those unfamiliar with the Star Wars saga, James Earl Jones was the voice of that great villain Darth Vader. But those Star Wars fans will surely appreciate this fanciful article : Supposedly James Earl Jones is Vassar College’s Commencement speaker for this year. Oddly, this event coincides with the release of the much awaited “Phantom Menace” and the unexpected popularity of Baz Luhrmann’s “Sunscreen Song” (which, if you haven’t had your…

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Read JokeEverybody’s Free (To Embrace the Dark Side of the Force)

You are from a small town, when…..

During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. You are related to more than half the town. You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do. Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic. You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. You don’t put too much effort into hairstyles due…

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Read JokeYou are from a small town, when…..

Everybody Does It!

ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…

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Ambitious Ensign

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men, and soon the ship had left port and was steaming out of the channel. The ensign’s efficieny had been remarkable! In fact the deck was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a destroyer…

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Read JokeAmbitious Ensign