Man in the desert Jokes - page 2

Lumberjack Applicant

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. “Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man. “Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack.…

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Use Your Marbles

A boy and his classmates arrive at school on Monday. Their teacher tells them that every Friday he will ask the class a question on what they have been learning, and that whoever answers it correctly will not have to go to school until Tuesday. With this, the boy decides for the first week to see how hard the question is. On Friday, the teacher asks the class, “How much water is in the Atlantic Ocean?” The boy thinks to…

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the mummy

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural history museum. “I’ve just discovered a 3,000 year old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!” the excited scientist exclaimed. To which the curator replied, “Bring him in. We’ll check it out.” A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. “You were right about the mummy’s age and…

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One Tough Cookie!

The two Uranians landed in the desert, and , leaving their saucer hidden beneath a dune, they go exploring. The first sign of civilization they spot is a service station, and approaching warily, Commander Znugg says to Science Officer Ktoing, “Watch it, this is gonna be rough.” “How do you know? asked Ktoing. “Trust me, Znugg replied as they walked up to the nearest gas pump. Trying to sound as pleasant as possible, Znugg said, “Take me to your leader.”…

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My thoughts, from my mind….

If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…

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Cultural Differences

There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman 2 New Zealand men and 1 New…

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The Wish

Three women were stranded on a deserted island. All of sudden a bottle washed upon the shore. One of the women picked up the bottle and rubbed it. A genie appeared and offered the three women three wishes (one wish apiece). The first woman wished to be 10 times smarter. The genie snapped his fingers and she became 10 times smarter. She built a raft out of wood on the island and sailed off. The second woman wished to be…

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Football Humor

Coach Bobby Ross had put together the perfect Lions team. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, but he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback who could ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in Bosnia. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand grenade…

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Sisters of Mercy

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF MERCY -HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying:…

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A Shopping Expedition

A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a Pakistani accent say, “You foreigners Come in. Come into my humbleshop.” So the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, “I have some special sandals 1 think you’d be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel.”…

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