Man in the desert Jokes

Stranded with an Irishman

Three men are the sole survivors of a shipwreck and become stranded on a desert island. Several years after they land, a bottle washes up on the beach. The first man, an Englishman, grabs the bottle and rubs it – and out pops a genie. “I am the genie of the lamp. I am allowed to grant 3 wishes. Because there are 3 of you, you are allowed 1 wish each.” The Englishman thinks for a bit and says, “I’d…

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Deserted Island

This guy is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she…

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African man and a genie

An African man is in the desert dying of thirst when he happens to come across a bottle. He opens it and out pops a genie. The grateful genie tells him that he will grant the man three wishes. The man immediately replies, “For my first wish, I want water. For my second wish, I want to be white. For my last wish, since I have not seen a woman for quite some time, I wish to see buttocks every…

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Camel Power

One day, this old man in the desert decides to buy a camel that didn’t have to drink every hour like his old one did. He then stops at the Market. When he gets there and asks for a camel, one man instantly comes and offers him a camel that could drink 50 liters of water and wouldn’t be thirsty for a long time. But he says he wanted more. Then this other man offers him one that drinks 60,…

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A Horny Camel

A man rents a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There is only one camel available and it has one little problem, the camel owner tells him. Periodically, this camel will stop and refuse to move until somebody beats it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he will go along with that. He sets off into the desert. Sure as hell, he has to beat off the camel every day for…

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OHHH SHIT

Three men were in a car. The driver was drunk, and the car crashed in the middle of the desert on a huge rock. The three men started going up to heaven. Half way up they stop, they then hear a voice, “YOU THREE MEN HAVE A CHOICE, YOU GUYS CAN GO STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN OR BE SOMETHING DIFFERENT ON EARTH OTHER THAN HUMAN.” So the three men all said that they want to be back on earth. They heard…

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Darwin Awards

The Darwin Awards are given every year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who, through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Here are some current candidates: Poacher Maino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock–and was killed instantly when it fell on him. Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the…

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Who said women don’t bash men??

Laws for women to live by: 1. Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door. 3. If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature…

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Woo Woo Woo!

There were two Indians and a Polish fellow walking in the desert together, when suddenly one of the Indians took off and ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. Then, he hollered into the cave, “Woo! Woo! Woo! A moment later, the Indian heard a response, “Woo! Woo! Woo!” so he tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The puzzled Polish fellow asked the other Indian what that was all about, and the Indian replied,…

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Blonde and Boats????

A True Story, if she had killed herself she’d be a shoe-in for the Darwin Award (might be a problem in the gene pool). Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t get her brand new 22-ft Bayliner to perform. It wouldn’t get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in…

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